Published on 12, July, 2020
Today I feel somehow sad, somehow out of place, I feel like maybe it would be much better to not know… to not be aware and not identify as an aspie. In fact this knowledge and advice from this forum helped me improve my well-being, helped me decrease my anxiety, helped me deal with situations which cause me stress. All this is very useful for me. But sometimes self doubt and identity crisis is exhausting. This is the price. Looks like I’m not supposed to just relax and be fully happy. Maybe it’s not given to anyone. But today I’m sitting in the cafeteria and wondering how I would be if I didn’t know. Would I have this job, that I actually like and enjoy, or would I end up again as a customer service assistant and suffer from anxiety and overwhelm like before. Just wanted to share some thoughts. Today I feel like I shouldn’t be here like I don’t deserve it although I love this place. I know that imposter is pretty common among us. i wish you all a good day.
Perhaps the trick would be to just accept yourself and let your happiness for that which you are be what you lead with, even if you are not understood, or even understand yourself. Being understood is somewhat like a game of charades for everyone anyway.
You are enough, just right, just as you are. "Be yourself. Everyone else is taken" as Oscar Wilde said.
Lots of times we reach for stasis in the hopes of release from time space dynamics, but they are the whole kit and caboodle of life.
In this no one is alone nor can they escape - and it's reality's finest selling point.
It may, in the end, not matter if you can label that which you are, just that you celebrate that which you are and discover your most authentic self and all you have to offer this wonderful world and what it can offer you.
It's all here waiting at your feet for you to just engage with it and share it's joyous beauty!