Published on 12, July, 2020
Today I feel somehow sad, somehow out of place, I feel like maybe it would be much better to not know… to not be aware and not identify as an aspie. In fact this knowledge and advice from this forum helped me improve my well-being, helped me decrease my anxiety, helped me deal with situations which cause me stress. All this is very useful for me. But sometimes self doubt and identity crisis is exhausting. This is the price. Looks like I’m not supposed to just relax and be fully happy. Maybe it’s not given to anyone. But today I’m sitting in the cafeteria and wondering how I would be if I didn’t know. Would I have this job, that I actually like and enjoy, or would I end up again as a customer service assistant and suffer from anxiety and overwhelm like before. Just wanted to share some thoughts. Today I feel like I shouldn’t be here like I don’t deserve it although I love this place. I know that imposter is pretty common among us. i wish you all a good day.
I feel, on knowing, at the very least, the confusion of life is somewhat reduced. I would possibly say, if you are feeling a level of imposter syndrome, this could indicate you have got a reasonably good set up for yourself. It's when our set up / environment is not suitable, we can have more difficulties which means our "condition" is then more obvious. I'm saying our levels of difficulty fluctuate. When you're in a really bad place, there's no question about it, when life is a bit smoother, one can feel an imposter.
Thank you for your answer! Yes, you are right! And my set up is much better because I found out the cause of my struggles in life! Such an annoying thing - when I’m better, i keep struggling for another reason. Like we really can’t stop and just relax. But your answer relaxed me quite much. Yes, I feel good at work, I have predictable tasks with clear procedures, very little contact with people and routine that is suitable for me. So this way I don’t have to be in constant stress like I used to be.
So true!
I think often our brains need something to chew on and it'll find anything and everything! Sometimes it does feel "too good to be true" but there's a lot of work which has gone into getting there.