Published on 12, July, 2020
There seems to be two schools of thought on this: do it and do not. Many people say that everyone masks - autistics and allistics alike and I do think that's true. Most people have a work-mask, for example. Some autistics say that they are fed up of masking and want to stop, or have stopped, and that it's better for them.
I've come to the conclusion that masking itself isn't the problem. I think, at least for me, it's the motivation behind it that needs to be examined. Why am I doing it?
Where I'm going with this is that masking can sometimes, I think, be good. It can be protective for the individual and it can even be enabling. Exhausting, yes, but still enabling. But other times it can be bad. Bad for me, and it can lead to a bad outcome for others. An example, would be if you're a "pleaser". I find it hard to say no and I consider that a part of my masking make-up. I often want to say no, but cannot, and yet sometimes no is the right answer.
Maybe I need to be more mindful in my masking.... if that's even possible. Anyone have any thoughts on this?
I am now 61 and masked most of my life. My mother told me that I should always put myself first instead of other, which has taken me too long to do.
I no longer mask it has drained the life out of of me over the years. Now, what you see is what get, no pleasing other before my self, learned to say no and not yes all the time.
For me masking over a long period really effected my health in a bad way. Now I do not worry about what people think of me, its not me with a problem it is them.
I hope that you are able to get the balance right, I never could until now.