Published on 12, July, 2020
There seems to be two schools of thought on this: do it and do not. Many people say that everyone masks - autistics and allistics alike and I do think that's true. Most people have a work-mask, for example. Some autistics say that they are fed up of masking and want to stop, or have stopped, and that it's better for them.
I've come to the conclusion that masking itself isn't the problem. I think, at least for me, it's the motivation behind it that needs to be examined. Why am I doing it?
Where I'm going with this is that masking can sometimes, I think, be good. It can be protective for the individual and it can even be enabling. Exhausting, yes, but still enabling. But other times it can be bad. Bad for me, and it can lead to a bad outcome for others. An example, would be if you're a "pleaser". I find it hard to say no and I consider that a part of my masking make-up. I often want to say no, but cannot, and yet sometimes no is the right answer.
Maybe I need to be more mindful in my masking.... if that's even possible. Anyone have any thoughts on this?
I feel like masking is a complex thing and not just a case of hiding. I see three main actions of masking...
We can mask in a way that emulates those around us, this appearing to fit in.
We can hide a feeling or strong emotion around other people, again appearing to be the same and fit in.
We can also go along with things so as to not upset people and end up being rejected.
Personally I think I'd rather mask less. This means being myself more and hoping people accept it. I think It's possible to work on reducing either of these 3 aspects of masking in varying degrees. I don't think it's as simple as having to "mask or not mask".