After almost 3 years spent home with my child I sent the little one to the kindergarten and got a job. I like my job, feel good there, I like the tasks and environment is bearable. But I really feel like I lost all my learned social skills, or maybe better to say - ability to mask. To the point that I feel like a little girl. I don’t talk, because I have no idea what to talk. It was always like this,,but before I somehow felt more comfortable around people and kinda dealing better at work. At the first day the boss told me, that I can have chats with my colleagues at work and that good atmosphere is important for everyone. I’m trying my best to not come across as rude but I suspect that some people might have already dislike me although I haven’t done anything bad to them. I just do my job, ask questions if I need help and try my best to communicate clearly. Now my mask slipped off and im worried that everyone around me knows I’m autistic. Maybe it’s just my paranoia. Although this company have written on their site, that they are friendly to people with disabilities… I already saw enough in such companies. I’m not sure if I’m able to regain the masking abilities and how to deal further. As for now most of the staff seems ok to me. I’m aware I would not notice subtle signs, that someone doesn’t like me so I wouldn’t know it unless they tell me straight in the face.
Any thoughts or advice will be appreciated.
