Published on 12, July, 2020
I've been wondering about this for a while...I used to be very depressed but when I looked up the diagnostic criteria, my symptoms never really matched, I used to look up different types of depression too but none of them sounded like me. I went to a professional too and they also said I probably don't have it until I talked about suicidal thoughts, then they gave me a prescription. It all made me feel like an imposter. I had many symptoms but either they fluctuated too greatly and were not as persistent as the criteria says, or I never had the right combinations of symptoms or my experience didn't match with the described experience of that type of depression.
So, was it autism that was doing this?
well what was your version of depression?we know you said suicidal thoughts, but what else did it feel like?generally depression is a sadness or even a longingness, a void, a itch you cant scratch.you can be sad, you can be angry with it too. and tired, definitely tiredness and fatigue in there.theres probably alot more i missed but its just a very basic common feels.... what did your depression be like to be seen as different or stealthy?
The main things were fatigue, hopelessness, feelings of guilt, crying frequently but never had sleep or eating differences. I think the thing making it different is how my mood would get improved either randomly or when good things happened, and there's a type of depression like that but I believe the symptoms of it didn't match mine. When I talked about it with the professional, about how I sometimes felt better, they told me that depression doesn't work like that.
And all this I said may just look like normal sadness which comes and goes, but my bad days were greater in number and this was the case for atleast 3 years.
Now that I looked up depression again, dysthymia seems accurate to what I experienced, but for some reason neither me or the professional thought that back then.