Published on 12, July, 2020
I've been getting frustrated with myself. I try and try to fit in and to be normal but nothing ever changes. I see people and I get intense anxiety and that makes my head spin and I feel sick and sweaty. I don't get why I struggle so much with the seemingly simplest things like answering the phone or going outside.
I don't understand myself. Everything I try results in intense anxiety and it leaves me exhausted and completely overwhelmed, sometimes for days after.
Now I've even been in touch with my GP and she referred me to mental health *gags* and they were useful AF and decided I needed to be detained just because I struggle with ordinary autism problems.
I tried working too and they let me go after a week.
I'm frustrated with myself because I can't be normal like everyone else seems to be like. My mum said to me last week why can't I be normal.
I've tried explaining my situation and how I find certain things difficult but my mum doesn't believe me and no one else seems to.
Just want to scream.
Hi Sarah! Oh my gosh thank you so much for all the links and for all the support with this. I didn't really want to come here and moan about my life, it all sort of got to me and erupted like a volcano - but I'm overwhelmed by all your support and advice on where to go from here! Thank you so much, it's just a big help in itself knowing there's people who care, and comforting to know that people can understand what it's been like.
Thank you for all the links and advice. I've bookmarked them so I can check them out and also return to them if I require them again.
I did Google but there's so much to read and I wasn't sure what's helpful when you're autistic. A lot of it is very overwhelming and stressful to think about.
I really do appreciate you taking the time to help. Thank you!
Have a lovely Sunday!
Hello.
Yes I'm lucky to have an official diagnosis and it's helped explain some things to me but not everything. I just wish there were more things I could do that didn't result in anxiety and burning out.
My mum is not a nice person unfortunately but luckily I have my own flat now and only see her maybe twice a week. I'm happier and healthier since I moved out last year.
Life is hard but I'm much more independent and that's good for me.
I was hoping for professional help with some of it but I didn't realise that there isn't really any available.
Hello Zen garden.
Oh my goodness you have been through so much! I'm so sorry that you've had to endure so much of that in your life. Some people can be absolutely horrible at times can't they? Such a shame because if they stopped, and really tried, they could see it from our side and see how hard we try and how many challenges we face each day.
It's not easy and it's made doubly hard when people make comments or deliberately hurt and use us.
I really hope this hasn't affected you too badly and you're doing better now.
The only really negative person in my life is my mum but I'm lucky that I moved out now and am doing much better in my own place.
Hi Dana - So sorry to hear about all this, life can be incredibly overwhelming at times but I'm warmed to see that others here have picked up on your thread and are sharing their stories and advice with you - That is what makes this community so great
I wanted to send you some links to advice on our website that might also be helpful:
You may like to have a look at the mental health section of our website which has useful links to information and advice about a range of mental health issues: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health OR more specifically:
You may wish to read over our information on benefits: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/benefits-and-money/benefits . You can also find more information on benefits through the Citizen’s Advice website: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/
You can also browse our website for lots of other advice and guidance on a wide range of information about autism, including what autism is, socialising and relationships, employment, benefits and social care.
Sorry if that is a lot of info for now, but maybe something in there sticks out and could be useful at some point
Best,
SarahMod
Do you have an autism diagnosis? Is it worth seeking a diagnosis, so you have something that you can use to explain your issues?That your mum would say something like that is, at best, unhelpful, if not abuse.
Hello
Welcome to the community forum.
I get frustrated with people who treat me as if I've got a learning disability. In my 40s which I don't look like (people think I'm 20-30); been bullied throughout my life.
1. 2007-2019 ended up leaving a workplace where I got treated badly and bullied. Coming up 5 years since I left (does time fly); my notice got handled badly. Colleagues tried to get me to change my mind and didn't read my feedback. 10 days later got myself into the stock room (not challenged); first words were what are you doing here? we need you back on delivery and clock in now. months later same thing happened and one of the people said add me on Facebook and I said no. I wrote to the head office and was ignored.
2.Tried something new from the NHS website: local hospital
You'll need to complete at least six shifts over six months otherwise we'll sadly have to withdraw you from the Bank.
It would have been similar to having an app to book shifts etc.
Pleased this is over now as been a rollercoaster. The supervisor doesn't answer emails and has bank holidays/Christmas periods off. Annoying. Last year I had my P45 in the post and felt like was being shoved in my face. Reckoned happened to more people who were in the induction.
People still ask me in the street are you on your way to work? Or are you working now? I explained that I attended a community group and met some nice people.
In a nutshell, companies don't understand autism. In the news recently that people with autism are struggling especially with the application forms and interviews. Absolutely ridiculous. Need support group in my town or a café which only hires autistic people etc.
*this reminds me of the post office scandal, where bosses knew all along and did nothing about it. Really too late now. Something should of been done at the time.*
What supposed to do now?
3. This is what happened in 2020 before COVID was declared:
Used to have a meeting before I started at the library where I used to volunteer (now gone to pot); this unfortunate day it was cancelled at short notice due to sickness. I used to get very upset.
The administrator explained to me in person what happened. Also, I emailed her to say thank you for explaining what happened.
Out of the bloom I had to attend a meeting as someone said we needed to talk. Also, I was told not to contact the young administrator as she doesn't know what to do with the emails.
Afterwards, I returned home and emailed the person saying this wasn't expected and there was no reply. The reason was that there was an incident.
My shock horror was that the local charity went behind my back, and told the board of directors that they were concerned about my welfare. Told the person to step back. Plus told me to get counselling.
Also, the local charity CEO was going sign post me to another organisation (made up story);
I ended up making a GP appointment and they asked me why the local charity was concerned about my welfare. My reply was I don't know.
The person who did this to me was someone I had known for a long time.
Most of the charity staff left due to burnout. Now they have new staff members.
I did tell my friends and listening services what happened. Told me they shouldn't have done this.
Still, go there despite haven't forgiven them yet.
3. In 2021 Family member banged on me to find a job and forced me to go to a job fair. I'd froze. Asked why I was crying and said out loud having dark thoughts. Nobody helped me.
In 2022, a relative had the idea to send me a cheque so I could do a hiking holiday (COVID is still around); or do a residential training course. I'd declined it. Another occasion nearly forced me to do bookbinding. Then turned nasty saying forget we had this conversation and trying to plan for your future. I was crying and self-harmed again. Listening services and my friends said they shouldn't have done this.
Family members thought that the community group was just for retired people. Not as anyone can turn, women only and all ages. Now they've cottoned on as it's something I enjoy doing.
My advice is to ignore them and carry on with your life.
Hope this helps you.