I guess this is synonymous with feelings of depression but I think the feelings of grief that I've been feeling for the best part of the year influence this feeling.
Whenever I've addressed it with anyone who isn't my therapist, I usually get a "you need to move on". I know they mean well but it's about the last thing that would actually work for me at this point, even if in my current situation, I am still punishing myself to unhealthy levels.
Lots of self-hatred, to say the least. I have moments when I feel like planning out my future but then I'm like, why bother. The world hates me and thinks I'm a terrible human being, and it's near impossible to change people's minds when they've made them up. I feel like second chances are very rare.
This is a vent, I should caveat. I should also caveat that I'm not writing this to gain sympathy or attention.
