I thought being a child was hard enough but adulthood is like a wild rollercoaster ride that I can't get off. Since I turned 18 my life has been so difficult, my parents are in poor health as they are older and it's hard to watch them go through this. My dad was hospitalised with heart problems and though it was a few years ago I remember it clearly like it was yesterday.
I'll tend to remember the bad times more than the good.
All this stress has affected me mentally which they believe led to psychosis and auditory hallucinations, though I'm not sure they've got the diagnosis right. Much of my problems are autism related but the professionals don't get it.
It scares me what my brain can turn me in to. The level of hatred towards myself. It's led to me being sectioned 4 times and I find myself still struggling.
Earlier out of nowhere my dad suddenly had a nose bleed and this was hard to witness and now it's still on my mind. I'll likely never forget this. Things like this play on my mind.
Does anyone else understand this? I really wish I could be a kid again. I miss the carefree days where there was little bad change.
I've got my appointment with my therapist this coming week so at least I'll be able to talk to her but I just wish I didn't feel this way.
