Hi everybody, I hope you are well today.
On my latest post a few days ago, I received some great advice from fellow potato , encouraging me to build self-confidence and am trying to take said advice to heart. However, something that is a massive cause for low self-esteem and poor confidence within myself is and always has been my lack of employment. I'd like to hear other's opinions and advice on the matter.
But first a little context:
I spent most of my teen years in Spain, where the concept of "work experience" doesn't exist and, on top of that, I have been told by psychologists that I was stunted in my social development during this time too. When I moved back from Spain to the UK again, it was like moving to a different planet. When I enrolled in college at age 16/17, new concepts such as employability and work experience were being thrown left and right and I didn't understand much of it. I attempted to do work experience myself during my time at college, but found myself being unable to do so outside of the college itself (managing to fail some work experience opportunities), which was against the point.
Since college, I have attempted to find work a few times, all ending in complete disaster as my mental health took a massive dip every time due to varying reasons. The first time I tried was under the advice of the local Job Box agency, quickly writing up a CV and going around local shops and handing out printouts of it while asking for work. This ended poorly as the reception I received after each attempt (which took me a lot of effort to approach people) was very discouraging; with one person even asking to see the "person that looks after me", which made me feel extremely awful. The second attempt was through the website "Total Jobs" and I immediately almost got scammed into joining a pyramid scheme that was being advertised on the website, asking me to give them £200 so they could "train me" to recruit more people into their scheme (luckily my mother has far more sense than I and put a stop to this from happening). The third and latest attempt, I was encouraged to join a site called "Indeed" by my Universal Credit social worker at the time, but I'd find myself getting extremely bad depression and anxiety for every time I didn't get a reply (which was every time) and I felt really ashamed for my meagre CV.
Right now, I am on Universal Credit with Limited Capability for Work, which provides me with enough money to invest in my limited hobbies, support my family and spend on leisure, so I'm not concerned from a financial standpoint right now. However I do feel very ashamed of being utterly useless and consider myself a burden on society. What's worse, I also feel very undermined in practically every social interaction due to feeling like my lack of a job or career makes me less valid as a person compared to others. I'd like to get work eventually, but I have no idea when I'll be ready to, as I just freeze in any social environment that I don't feel comfortable in now. I'd like to find a partner and make friends someday, but I don't even know if that's even possible as someone who's unemployed or if people look at me like I'm dirt or something.
Again, any advice, thoughts and opinions on the matter are greatly welcomed. I'd like to take the opportunity this site has presented me to better myself and improve my life, even though I'm kinda clueless on where to start haha.
I thank whoever has read this far and wish you a great day or night!
