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Fixation/obsession

Bex

Hi everyone,

I’m not sure where to post this, but thought this seemed like the right place.

I’m keen to explore link between neurodiversity/ASC and developing in fixation or obsessive thoughts about other people. This has been something I have done from an early age and it’s continued throughout into adulthood. This has impacted on my mental health and to the point of being unable to attend school and later go to work. This has impacted immensely on my mental health and ability to have relationships.

I understand there is a link between fixation and attachment, but I’m intrigued to understand that if a person could become a ‘special interest’? Where there is a compulsion to need to know everything about someone?

Parents

  • Yep, people can be a 'special interest'  for Autists. I believe I may be one of them, particularly when I feel attracted to someone. My memory isn't always the best, but if I am told things in conversation, it is almost as though they are then etched into my memory. For example, if someone tells me where they live and it is somewhere I am not familiar with, I will feel compelled to research the area so that I can get a sense of what that place is like. If I am told about a landmark within their town, my research enables me to gain a better understanding. It isn't that I plan to 'stalk' them, but just because I'm interested and have a natural curiosity.

    I think my natural curiosity and need to know can unnerve people, including fellow Autists. There is one occasion that sticks in my mind, which is when I casually mentioned to someone, "I notice there are diversions due to roadworks in your area." I had only remembered because the person was important to me, and I knew those roadworks and diversions were likely to be affecting them.

  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    Yep, I can understand about the curiosity. I guess I’m concerned that this behaviour would be classed as ’stalking’ but I genuinely don’t mean anyone harm. But then it’s also how it could be perceived by the other person. I grateful for the responses as I understand not many people would feel comfortable talking about this and there perhaps is a ‘stereotype don’t want to be with. 

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  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    Yep, I can understand about the curiosity. I guess I’m concerned that this behaviour would be classed as ’stalking’ but I genuinely don’t mean anyone harm. But then it’s also how it could be perceived by the other person. I grateful for the responses as I understand not many people would feel comfortable talking about this and there perhaps is a ‘stereotype don’t want to be with. 

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