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Fixation/obsession

Bex

Hi everyone,

I’m not sure where to post this, but thought this seemed like the right place.

I’m keen to explore link between neurodiversity/ASC and developing in fixation or obsessive thoughts about other people. This has been something I have done from an early age and it’s continued throughout into adulthood. This has impacted on my mental health and to the point of being unable to attend school and later go to work. This has impacted immensely on my mental health and ability to have relationships.

I understand there is a link between fixation and attachment, but I’m intrigued to understand that if a person could become a ‘special interest’? Where there is a compulsion to need to know everything about someone?

Parents

  • It happens.  I have done it in the past for potential friends.  One of the guys I went to the gym with a couple of years back said I took things a bit far with it after a girl who would often talk to me started to get a bit overly friendly and I did a search on her, like FB, Insta, etc.  I was actually more interested in whether she had pets, because I'm allergic to pets, than anything else.  In reality I could have simply asked her, but I am introverted and shy, but have skill in IT.

    In the IT world we call it OSINT.  It is an encouraged practice in the hatted world of computer security.  But it can be taken too far.  i've known people who vetted potential girl and boyfriends using the same techniques, even friends.  It can be as simple as throwing a picture into google reverse image search, or doing a quick search on FB for the persons name.

    If you do it to vet a person who you want to be friends with or a potential partner and you aren't going full blown deep dive, then I don't see an issue.  if you are going to be stalking someone or taking it too far, then don't do it.

    If it's impacting on your mental health, then it's gone too far already.  Find help and stop doing it.

Reply

  • It happens.  I have done it in the past for potential friends.  One of the guys I went to the gym with a couple of years back said I took things a bit far with it after a girl who would often talk to me started to get a bit overly friendly and I did a search on her, like FB, Insta, etc.  I was actually more interested in whether she had pets, because I'm allergic to pets, than anything else.  In reality I could have simply asked her, but I am introverted and shy, but have skill in IT.

    In the IT world we call it OSINT.  It is an encouraged practice in the hatted world of computer security.  But it can be taken too far.  i've known people who vetted potential girl and boyfriends using the same techniques, even friends.  It can be as simple as throwing a picture into google reverse image search, or doing a quick search on FB for the persons name.

    If you do it to vet a person who you want to be friends with or a potential partner and you aren't going full blown deep dive, then I don't see an issue.  if you are going to be stalking someone or taking it too far, then don't do it.

    If it's impacting on your mental health, then it's gone too far already.  Find help and stop doing it.

Children
  • in reply to __Pathfinder__

    This is really interesting. Strange thing is that it never occurred to me to do this. Then I think someone at work had done this to me. I agree, it’s not healthy if it’s taking over your life. 

  • in reply to __Pathfinder__

    If anyone tried to do a 'deep dive' for information on me, I think they would be left feeling disappointed, unless they were a hacker.

    I have a Facebook account that I seldom use, and is set to 'Friends only'. In addition, my "friends" are all people I have known for years (family and real-life friends and acquaintances). My profile photo is not a photo of me either, but of an image I designed myself. I've never understood people on Facebook whose settings allow anyone to be privy to their photos and posts.