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how to overcome negative and intrusive thoughts when trying to do pleasurable things

NAS80873

It's a bit complicated to describe, but it causes me a lot of distress. 

Often, when I try to do something I enjoy, be it something creative or wanting to dive into a special interest of mine, negative thoughts start polluting my brain. Mostly my brain starts replaying social interactions that are somehow related to the enjoyable thing. The thoughts are mostly negative. I think people do not like me and do not want to talk to me, that they think I am a looser or difficult or that I try to impress or that I think that my skills are beyond of what they really are. I feel they look down on me and compare me (I am doing the comparing myself) and just see the negative and where I have failed and where I am failing. It can be either that they think I am a fraud and just pretend or memories of negative things that happened when I was doing the pleasurable thing. 

So that leads to me not being able to do the pleasurable thing anymore or I get all agitated and nervous and mess things up. 

All in all, I am a looser with a messed up childhood and life who is being hit with coming to terms with being autistic and adhd and cPTSD. However, since I am to scared of dying, I am trying to keep going and focus on the positive. But there isn't a lot and somehow everything is being tainted by negative thoughts. Really do not know what to do. 

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  • Oh boy could I have written exactly the same. I have the same dx list and think I'm PDA. on days when I feel like this I tend to go to bed. It's the only place I'm safe from myself. I put on a safe TV show, Trek/Doctor Who and listen to it, not watch it, while cuddling the dog. If I'm in that kind of mindset I usually fall asleep like that, because being overtired is a huge trigger for my dysregulation. 

    Normalising it also helps, by that I mean talking about it on places like this where others understand. It's not something to be ashamed of, we are reacting to things our minds can't process for one reason it another. This experience is part of our flavour of autism it's not something we "deserve for being bad", which is something I'm trying to teach myself. 

  • in reply to Max has left the platform (them/they)

    It prevents me from doing pleasurable things most of the time, or literally all the time. And it drags me down. I feel the only things I can do is either lie in bed or on the sofa, exercise and clean. What life is that?! 

  • in reply to NAS80873

    I said exactly the same to my counsellor this week. It's not a life, it's an existence. I still believe there's better to come. If I rest a lot I do have energy for small things, I'm hoping that will improve in time. 

  • in reply to NAS80873
    NAS80873 said:
    This will never end :( 

    It is a process - the threads all need to be picked away at until the whole tangled mess is unravelled and can be woven back into something resembling a life that works for you.

    I've spent more hours in therapy than I care to recall but it was worth it. Maybe go for some of the easier wins and use these as the positives to help for find more hope - it can become a circle of improvement once you get to that stage.

    I would discuss this with your therapist too and help them suggest ways to build on your successes,

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  • in reply to NAS80873
    NAS80873 said:
    This will never end :( 

    It is a process - the threads all need to be picked away at until the whole tangled mess is unravelled and can be woven back into something resembling a life that works for you.

    I've spent more hours in therapy than I care to recall but it was worth it. Maybe go for some of the easier wins and use these as the positives to help for find more hope - it can become a circle of improvement once you get to that stage.

    I would discuss this with your therapist too and help them suggest ways to build on your successes,

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