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how to overcome negative and intrusive thoughts when trying to do pleasurable things

NAS80873

It's a bit complicated to describe, but it causes me a lot of distress. 

Often, when I try to do something I enjoy, be it something creative or wanting to dive into a special interest of mine, negative thoughts start polluting my brain. Mostly my brain starts replaying social interactions that are somehow related to the enjoyable thing. The thoughts are mostly negative. I think people do not like me and do not want to talk to me, that they think I am a looser or difficult or that I try to impress or that I think that my skills are beyond of what they really are. I feel they look down on me and compare me (I am doing the comparing myself) and just see the negative and where I have failed and where I am failing. It can be either that they think I am a fraud and just pretend or memories of negative things that happened when I was doing the pleasurable thing. 

So that leads to me not being able to do the pleasurable thing anymore or I get all agitated and nervous and mess things up. 

All in all, I am a looser with a messed up childhood and life who is being hit with coming to terms with being autistic and adhd and cPTSD. However, since I am to scared of dying, I am trying to keep going and focus on the positive. But there isn't a lot and somehow everything is being tainted by negative thoughts. Really do not know what to do. 

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  • Oh boy could I have written exactly the same. I have the same dx list and think I'm PDA. on days when I feel like this I tend to go to bed. It's the only place I'm safe from myself. I put on a safe TV show, Trek/Doctor Who and listen to it, not watch it, while cuddling the dog. If I'm in that kind of mindset I usually fall asleep like that, because being overtired is a huge trigger for my dysregulation. 

    Normalising it also helps, by that I mean talking about it on places like this where others understand. It's not something to be ashamed of, we are reacting to things our minds can't process for one reason it another. This experience is part of our flavour of autism it's not something we "deserve for being bad", which is something I'm trying to teach myself. 

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  • Oh boy could I have written exactly the same. I have the same dx list and think I'm PDA. on days when I feel like this I tend to go to bed. It's the only place I'm safe from myself. I put on a safe TV show, Trek/Doctor Who and listen to it, not watch it, while cuddling the dog. If I'm in that kind of mindset I usually fall asleep like that, because being overtired is a huge trigger for my dysregulation. 

    Normalising it also helps, by that I mean talking about it on places like this where others understand. It's not something to be ashamed of, we are reacting to things our minds can't process for one reason it another. This experience is part of our flavour of autism it's not something we "deserve for being bad", which is something I'm trying to teach myself. 

Children