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Suffocating loneliness

EuanF

It's becoming more and more common for me to have intense, consuming waves of suffocating loneliness. 

I know it's normal to feel this sometimes, especially given I am still mourning the very recent loss of a 4 and a half year long relationship. My ex partner was truly my best friend, and if I'm honest, my only friend. So I'm now left with crushing feelings of loneliness. I have my mum and sister, but there's a longing for true and meaningful connections with friends that I just don't have.

Ive been pushing myself to meet people, but sometimes the surface level conversation you have to have with new people you meet just highlights further to me the lack of deep connection I crave. It just feels so heavy. I really feel like I don't know how to connect with people, or reach out with the real me. 

I have moments where the loneliness isn't as strong. I get out to nature, take moments to feel present, feel a part of something bigger. But its still there, a dull ache.

Anyway, this post became a lot sadder than I first intended. Please feel free to share your own experiences of loneliness and of craving connection. 

  • well i never had relationship or friends, after school i spent all my life up to my 30s in my parents house and only had them for company but i stayed upstairs in my room. i handled it for a long time and maybe i sorted hated society enough to not care about being alone, but yeah time softens you up and eventually i felt super lonely and depressed about it that it was part of the reason that drove me into getting a job. which was totally out of character for me and random and my parents thought i wouldnt last 10 minutes in it lol

    as for romantic loneliness.... that will never be solved, i will never have a partner plus im in my 30s now so its totally pointless and i dont go out anyway so it doesnt work. it would require weird change on my end somehow like hanging out or something.... i dunno, however the *** anyone does it... hand outside in a place people are and it just works and they get someone onto them? lmao *** knows its all alien to me. but i been without partner all my life so i dunno im probably just never suited and it will all feel alien and weird and id probably recoil from anyone trying to make physical contact anyway lol

  • Well, I have no one at all Euan. No friends, no close family, never had a girlfriend. I’d give all my worldly possessions to have a partner.

    Most of the time I go through life a bit robotically and try not to think about it but there are times, at least every week, when the loneliness is overwhelming and I feel a sense of panic at the thought of living the rest of my life like this.

    But you can have hope. You’ve proven you can build those human connections. Might not be easy, might not even be what you want until you’re over your previous relationship, but you can do it and you will do it again.