I was getting on with my day, driving, parking, and walking about doing bits. It then dawned on me that it is hard being me. Sometimes, I feel that I have to work so much more complicated than a "non-neurodiverse" person or a person who could be described as "Normal".
I thought my head was like a 24-hour factory that never closes. I think about driving and ensuring that the SatNav takes me to my destination. Otherwise, I start to panic and feel a weight on my head if it goes funny. I think about walking outside and being somewhat agitated with someone whistling or walking in my line of sight or adjacent to me. I constantly have to think much harder about my next move, how to figure out this or that. Everything is a carefully crafted sequence processed like cogs in a wheel.
Everything is exacerbated and magnified, which I do because it is almost planned out in a split second, and then I do it.
I can never take a day off from this, but no one would ever know unless they know me already. This is the tiresome thing of doing all the above in a way where I am perceived as "Normal", but I am an expert in the above, I think!
