The system failed us, but we shouldn't fail ourselves.

Detach from the White Noise, and focus on your own life.

You've done it before so you can do it again. Just find that anchor to life, that one thing and hold on. Is there not a person in your life you can reach out to, people would rather hear about your struggles than mourn your loss.

Take care. Be strong 

thanks Herge, I can't contact Papyrus as I'm over 35, who knew suicidal thoughts were ageist! 
I've been here before, many times and hauled myself back out of the hole, just don't know if I've got the strength left to do it again

I've been there and it's really hard to climb back out of that hole. I found that you just need one thing to focus on, whether it's a pet, person or even something you enjoy/ed. Sometimes the darkness can feel all encapsulating but you can find a spark or sliver of light to help guide you out.

Keep trying the Samaritans or Papyrus hopelink 247 webchat.

Please don't give up, the world is better with you in it. You can do this, just keep going.