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When friendship works

Sporadic Sparkly

Since I joined NAS approximately 18 months ago, I have been fortunate enough to become acquainted with a handful of members, whom I now consider to be really good friends. Whilst we might not share the same opinions and have sometimes misunderstood each other, we have never fallen out.

These friends have witnessed me at my best, and have also been there to support me when I have been at rock bottom. I feel truly blessed to have these friends. Hugging

I have since edited my original post.

Regrettably, rather than focusing on the friends who genuinely want me in their lives, I had allowed myself to become fixated on one particular 'friendship' that had always been... er... complicated. Those who know me will not be surprised to know that I had been wallowing in self-pity and feeling like a victim, in addition to feeling like a fool.

  • I'm glad you found such good people here. I'm hoping to find something similar, though I am grateful to all who put up with me whether they are friends or not Grinning 

    I'm sorry you've had a complicated friendship, though I'm not surprised. I find relationships somewhat baffling. It's OK to wallow in your self pity, we all deserve to wallow from time to time, but don't let it ruin and rule your life. Focus on now, the good times and let the past be passed. 

  • in reply to Shardovan

    Thank you, Shardovan.

    I remember a time last year when I had contemplated leaving this place, even though I didn't want to because I knew I would miss my NAS friends. When I expressed my thoughts and fears, it very much felt as though I was on the receiving end of a supportive and protective group hug. Since then, there have been plenty of other occasions when I've been on the receiving end of a group hug that helps to lift my spirits. 

  • I didn't see your original post Sparkly, but those are lovely words you've put in the first part, and I feel similarly blessed for the same reason. 

    As for your last paragraph... I've never perceived you as wallowing, in fact you have an inspiring ability to... not bounce back exactly, but openly and honestly work your way through stuff in what amounts to a pretty healthy process of recovery overall. You've not had it easy on a few fronts over the last year or two and by not disguising your hurt while still finding resilience I'm sure you've helped a lot of people feel less alone. I think that's at least as generous as it is self-focused, and it clearly helps you to 'think aloud' on here. I hope it will continue to. 

  • Sporadic Sparkly said:
    Regrettably, rather than focusing on the friends who genuinely want me in their lives, I had allowed myself to become fixated on one particular 'friendship' that had always been... er... complicated.

    I've had an awful habit of this. I didn't appreciate the friends who actually wanted me as much as I should have and kept chasing the friendships that weren't naturally there.

    It's one of my biggest regrets and I always give myself a hard time over it.

  • in reply to Briar

    Thank you, Briar. I appreciate and understand what you're saying.

    I'll refrain from providing any gory details but suffice it to say that having been pushed to breaking point one too many times, I felt I needed to express my feelings in the original post.

  • This would possibly be far better posted to the person that you are aiming it at, privately. From a personal perspective, if I was ‘friends’ with someone on here and they had done this I’d be mortified and possibly would never post again. But I’m crap at making friends on or offline so not an issue for me Laughing 

    I do understand that sometimes we need to talk about things that are on our mind but I’m not sure this is the right way to go about it :)