Social anxiety and dating

I don't think I ever asked anyone on a date on the spur of the moment. I always got to knwo someone really well first.

Looking back, my absolute ignorance of social cues and whether someone was actually flirting, in my late teens / early twenties, meant I didn't realise when someone was interested in me.

Depending on the circumstances, sometimes the only way of getting to know a person well is by asking them out on a date.

As an example, I spent some time doing a job that consisted of me going door-to-door delivering catalogues, and then returning to collect orders and deliver the items customers had ordered. There was one particular day when I had been caught in a downpour and was soaked through.

One of the customers had invited me into his home, asking if I would like a hot drink to warm up, and an opportunity to dry off and get out of the rain for a while. Despite not knowing anything about this customer, I liked them and felt attracted to them. However, I did not feel it would be appropriate for me to tell them this.

When I had next been doing my rounds in this customer's area, it had been during the run-up to Christmas. In addition to the catalogue I delivered, I included a Christmas card that I had purchased especially for this customer. When I signed the card, I made a point of including my phone number, even though my contact details were plain to see on the catalogue order form.

Much to my delight, when I returned to collect the customer's catalogue, they too had included a Christmas card. Inside, they had written a message asking if I would like to meet up with them after Christmas, for a few drinks at a local pub. It was a date and one that paid off as it resulted in us having a loving relationship, which lasted the best part of 18 months.

Had I not stepped out of my comfort zone and made the first move, I'm not so sure that the relationship would have happened. The customer was 20 years older than me, and I think had been of the opinion that a woman who was young enough to be his daughter was unlikely to be interested in a man that was old enough to be her father.

Depending on the circumstances, sometimes the only way of getting to know a person well is by asking them out on a date.

As an example, I spent some time doing a job that consisted of me going door-to-door delivering catalogues, and then returning to collect orders and deliver the items customers had ordered. There was one particular day when I had been caught in a downpour and was soaked through.

One of the customers had invited me into his home, asking if I would like a hot drink to warm up, and an opportunity to dry off and get out of the rain for a while. Despite not knowing anything about this customer, I liked them and felt attracted to them. However, I did not feel it would be appropriate for me to tell them this.

When I had next been doing my rounds in this customer's area, it had been during the run-up to Christmas. In addition to the catalogue I delivered, I included a Christmas card that I had purchased especially for this customer. When I signed the card, I made a point of including my phone number, even though my contact details were plain to see on the catalogue order form.

Much to my delight, when I returned to collect the customer's catalogue, they too had included a Christmas card. Inside, they had written a message asking if I would like to meet up with them after Christmas, for a few drinks at a local pub. It was a date and one that paid off as it resulted in us having a loving relationship, which lasted the best part of 18 months.

Had I not stepped out of my comfort zone and made the first move, I'm not so sure that the relationship would have happened. The customer was 20 years older than me, and I think had been of the opinion that a woman who was young enough to be his daughter was unlikely to be interested in a man that was old enough to be her father.