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Neverending trouble with friend groups

Autistic Tiger

I don't know if it's due to my autism or the social anxiety that comes with it but I feel like I don't belong in any friend groups I have, I feel like I'm that unimportant side friend that no-one will miss that exists on the outside of every group. I even feel this way when I introduce friends together to form a friendship group, they always become good friends, more people join and I end up getting pushed to the side or kicked out of the groups. They stop inviting/involving me to things and stop talking/replying to me.

It just keeps happening again and again, even the furry fandom has given me the same feeling. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't know why I feel so lonely.

Parents

  • Hi there :) 

    I can sort of relate, I have had my fair share of relationships go wrong - I think in part because of my autism and other mental health stuff...I also have often felt on the outside, but I found that I do better 1:1 than in groups generally. 

    I would recommend that you start trying to hang out with people just the two of you, rather than in a group. Especially with women (I don't know what gender you confirm to) but in my experience of being a woman, group dynamics can be laced with jealousy and competitiveness. If you take away the group - those things disappear. 

    Also I would ask what age you are? I found that my issues with making/keeping friends settled a bit when I got to my 30's as everyone is just a bit more comfortable in their skins by this point, I no longer have ups and downs with people. My friends are my friends and I don't see that changing at any point. 

Reply

  • Hi there :) 

    I can sort of relate, I have had my fair share of relationships go wrong - I think in part because of my autism and other mental health stuff...I also have often felt on the outside, but I found that I do better 1:1 than in groups generally. 

    I would recommend that you start trying to hang out with people just the two of you, rather than in a group. Especially with women (I don't know what gender you confirm to) but in my experience of being a woman, group dynamics can be laced with jealousy and competitiveness. If you take away the group - those things disappear. 

    Also I would ask what age you are? I found that my issues with making/keeping friends settled a bit when I got to my 30's as everyone is just a bit more comfortable in their skins by this point, I no longer have ups and downs with people. My friends are my friends and I don't see that changing at any point. 

Children