I hate being Autistic, and its ruining my mental health

Autism isn’t really something that can ruin your mental-health, being a neurological-state, a configuration of the nervous-system, it IS your mental health.
Autism can ruin your social-life, and your developmental-journey, and can make you more susceptible to psychological-disorder, and effect what behaviour you manifest; but it essentially IS what you have to work with. Im not saying this to be pedantic, I say it because it is what you do, and how you work-with your autism, that will reveal the right-solutions.  
You can only be you, and you are neither good or bad, you can only change the things that you have control over. If something is giving you stress or a low-mood, then you need to adjust the environmental-factor or find reasonable-adjustment to it, as complicated as that sounds its a damn-sight easier to achieve that, than it is to become something that you are not. 
It isn’t an impossible-goal to speak with people as an autist, it can be as simple as recognising the appropriate learning-technique, for example autistic-people tend to learn best by following a mentor or peer and developing a procedural/non-declarative competency. In short, you need to pursue your interest as a means of by-passing the issues that most autistic persons have with declarative-learning. In short, it means that you need to adjust to the impairments and disorders you may have, like earphones for sensitivity, like prompts for executive-function issues.  
You are not an idiot for being autistic, the neurotypical-world is an idiot for failing to realise the peaks you could rise to, if only they’d facilitate your exposure to your interests, in a world that has an incompatible cognitive-standard with yours. Go and get-em! Depressive-attacks come as quickly as they go..:) Depression is a liar..:) Your interest and achievements are the truth..:D

Autism isn’t really something that can ruin your mental-health, being a neurological-state, a configuration of the nervous-system, it IS your mental health.
Autism can ruin your social-life, and your developmental-journey, and can make you more susceptible to psychological-disorder, and effect what behaviour you manifest; but it essentially IS what you have to work with. Im not saying this to be pedantic, I say it because it is what you do, and how you work-with your autism, that will reveal the right-solutions.  
You can only be you, and you are neither good or bad, you can only change the things that you have control over. If something is giving you stress or a low-mood, then you need to adjust the environmental-factor or find reasonable-adjustment to it, as complicated as that sounds its a damn-sight easier to achieve that, than it is to become something that you are not. 
It isn’t an impossible-goal to speak with people as an autist, it can be as simple as recognising the appropriate learning-technique, for example autistic-people tend to learn best by following a mentor or peer and developing a procedural/non-declarative competency. In short, you need to pursue your interest as a means of by-passing the issues that most autistic persons have with declarative-learning. In short, it means that you need to adjust to the impairments and disorders you may have, like earphones for sensitivity, like prompts for executive-function issues.  
You are not an idiot for being autistic, the neurotypical-world is an idiot for failing to realise the peaks you could rise to, if only they’d facilitate your exposure to your interests, in a world that has an incompatible cognitive-standard with yours. Go and get-em! Depressive-attacks come as quickly as they go..:) Depression is a liar..:) Your interest and achievements are the truth..:D