Struggling with getting my parents to understand me

I don't know, it's a possibility. I am in that position where I'm often hiding away in the house from my mum particularly because I don't want to have to talk about what I'm going through because I know I'm just going to get a bigger lecture/bollocking and I don't have the energy to listen to it.

That doesn't sound good either. Could you maybe get an email address at a library and ask for all future comnunications to be online, or get a box number at a post office for your private correspondence?

I don't miss Twitter. Not entirely anyway, it was nice being able to actually have more than one conversation a week but I don't miss having gotten myself into a situation where I was chatting to 30 people across 4 platforms. I'm almost glad it happened to basically stop me from further self-destruction, basically.

I spent two months writing an article for the Metro about autism & friendship and I talked a lot about Twitter and how it allowed me to form a community. I still feel glad I met the people I did, I just wish I handled it all a lot better and the nature of the conversations were a bit, well, healthier. But it only took 5 days for that article to age horrendously, and of course they emailed me to tell me they were taking it down.

If I ever did go back on Twitter (and it's a big if), I would not overshare as much as I did, nor would I engage in the autistic community (cos I know I'm not welcome). I think the main thing is to limit how many hours I spend on it.

I had one friend who I seriously could see myself being able to pursue things (appropriately) but even if this hadn't happened, it might have been a year or so before I even approached things. She's also autistic and from the same cultural background so it's a shame in a way.

Sometimes I get some hope that I could patch things up with at least some of the people I knew, but then I remind myself of what I did and that kills it. I'm still in that "you must feel bad" stage.

I might possibly consider an IRL approach in the future though, once I've sorted myself out.

Yeah TBH Twitter is just like Facebook now anyway IMO: A dumpster fire of everyone's bad day presented collectively for doom scrolling.
But you are here now, and between here and maybe some interest based Discord servers in my experience I've not missed out on Twitter since I left in in 2021.

Being an older adult (not that old just not 25 anymore) the friends I do have gradually ended up further afield just because of work and such and I get to see them less often so I'm actually joining my nearest local NAS branch so I can eventually meet more people in person myself.
If that sounds like something you are interested in it could be a good way for you to get to know other people who can relate to and understand your autism better IRL.
 

I'm concerned for you, with the possibility of Honour Killings.

Yeah, my biggest worry is that even if I've moved forwards someone will drag it up, as though something I did two years ago is relevant to what I'd be doing at that point. The person who shared it has 12k followers. People told me I'm a groomer, a nonce, an abuser etc. I'll own up to having (unintentionally) made people uncomfortable and having taken things too far but I won't admit to something I didn't actually do (or intend to do). 

It's hard because I do feel that with some of the friends I had, I had some good bonds. But that doesn't necessarily mean that it would work again, even if I was to set parameters and clear boundaries from the off. I think there were many cases where someone wasn't as open with me because they were afraid of hurting my feelings, which is understandable, but I don't want someone to feel like that again.

That said, I have also felt like that at times so it's just about being like "I won't be angry with you if you have to tell me that you're uncomfortable with something" (or along those lines).

I had to come off Twitter completely because so many people were talking about me. Angry that I was supposedly 'hiding' and then when I went back on to put out a statement they were still angry but to be fair, I understood why.

Well don't worry about Twitter too much, anyone worth knowing would still give you a chance if you had to explain it was just crossed wires (which Twitter is famous for even among neurotypical people on there), and you may not even have to explain it anyway, anyone who would try and dig up dirt on people they just met are a bit of a "red flag" for suspisious behaviour themselves anyway. Also Twitter is just one big  manufactured rage algorithm, people will forget all about it after a while when the next big thing to make them upset comes along. People have surprisingly short memories and you can't let the trauma of that fall out put you off meeting new people forever (as fresh and awful as it may still feel right now) because if you didn't get in any legal hot water it's not like you are some kind of list, it's just a learning curve.
I think it's tough being a young man who can't read social cues so well as others because unfortunately young women tend to feel more vulnerable and be more hinting than explicit in their feelings and what they need because unfortunately sometimes when they outright reject a guy (some take it far too personally) and they are met with a violent reaction from the guy.
It may not be the best thing to lead with, explaining you are autistic, but if you do ever get to chatting with ladies in DMs ever again it would probably be good to introduce it early into the second or 3rd conversation and explain you want to be respectful but if something is wrong then you need clear communication so you know how to respond apropriately.
I've been married for over 10 years and that's my best advice, to take the relationship slow and tentative in the early stages, let eachother get comfortable where you are at before jumping up a level. Works for platonic relationships and forming friends too, just let it take time and click int place on it's own.
Hopefully you do get back out there socially when you feel good and ready, and can form relationships mutually with other people on your own terms (sans pushing from Mum and Dad).

I appreciate that. My parents won't really see my internet history although they used to go into my phone and see what I was doing. That hasn't happened for about 3 years though thanks to a screen lock. 

My mum did used to go into my phone, go into social media and follow people she 'thought' I should follow and when I raised it with her, she made out like I was the problem.

With everything that has happened in my life over the past month, it's basically rock bottom anyway, and I feel my parents are going to use that to their advantage. I keep telling them that I don't actually want to be doing anything right now, because it's just inappropriate, but to be told to find a job/look for a partner is just the worst thing for me right now.

Doesn't matter if I even get a job, it's not going to fix what has happened (regarding having lost every single friend I ever had and I won't even be able to make any new ones because I'll eventually have to come clear about what happened cos it's all over Twitter anyway and when they see it they'll run a mile too).

You're very welcome, if you need anything else just pop back in and @ a handful of the mods in an emergency as they may have autism specific advice too for future reference they are
Karin Mod Chloe Mod Kerri-Mod

and ofc please keep in touch with us here, for anything else you'd like to talk about. That's what we are here for.
BTW Muslim friend also says if your parents are any kind of tech savy to delete your browser history and log back in here using something like firefox incognito.

Thanks for those. I'm hoping they can help if it comes to it.

https://www.safehouse.org.uk/get-help/help-for-men/

https://www.safehouse.org.uk/domestic-abuse/forced-marriages/

https://cranstoun.org/help-and-advice/domestic-abuse/male-domestic-abuse-services-birmingham/

https://mensadviceline.org.uk/contact-us/

My Muslim friend says, if you don't have any luck with the police because it isn't happening immediately, the thing to ask them is if they cannot help you to be put in touch with groups that can, for anything, but especially if you may need emergency housing at some point. She also says forced marriage is cultural not religious, and you will be able to find mosques that do not condone the way you've been treated if you need to stay close to your faith.

Btw I'm also talking to my Muslim friend (the who's other friend got married off) for more specific advice. I'll include that when I post the other support service links.

I get you. Right now it's just a general feeling of discomfort and it has been ongoing really for nearly 8 years (since I finished full-time education).

I have been of the belief that they take advantage of my weaknesses because they don't treat my younger siblings in the same way (and they are not autistic to the best of my knowledge). I could breathe in a way that is considered "wrong" and they'll pull me apart for it.

Sorry it never feels good to have to dob your own parents in btw, I know I had to do it to one of mine that tried to assault me, but if you have to do something drastic to protect yourself and your rights then do not feel guilty for drawing a line and saying it ends now.

And I'm really sorry you're going through this.

I see. I'm just worried about making a big thing of it all - certainly at the moment where there isn't that threat there. Yet anyway. 

I don't want things to get to that stage though, but I know I'm not in a position where I could actively fight it.

Okay well arranged-forced marriage is illegal here in teh UK including if you get taken abroad for it, so in an emergency you should be able to ring 999 but I understand if dealing with uniformed fofficers in person is very daunting, I had to report a hatecrime to the police in my own area and was further victimised by the officers who responded in person, but then had a better experience reporting the updates of the case to another officer over the phone and he took the complaint I had to make against the first two.
So maybe in person isn't the best thing.
https://www.west-midlands.police.uk/contact-us/live-chat looks like it might be better as a first point of voicing your concerns, but it will be important to explain everything to them like you did here, include how your parents treat you generally that You think it will possibly happen this summer and explain that yu are autistic. It will also help if you make them aware you have been advised to make contact with the police for guidance from a Member of the NAS (no need to mention usernames in fact best if you don'r unless they very specifically ask for that infor to corroborate), that way they know it is known about by a 3rd party (us, here) and that should promt them to take what you have to say much more seriously.

I will go find other links to refuge shelters in case you feel you really have to bolt, ie don't want to get on the plane, etc. and I will add them under this reply as and when I find them for you.

I'm in Birmingham. I know there's a huge chance they will try and marry me off, even if my dad says repeatedly "let us know when you feel ready" but I know full well they're only interested in what they want to hear.

Nothing has ever felt good enough for them. My mum said a while back I should have gotten married at 16. That makes me feel like my entire life is a complete waste.

I don't need to know where you are but if you want me to try find services who should be able to help you let me know what your nearest big city centre is and I will try look. Because a friend of a friend was married off when she didn't want to be a few years ago and she was taken out of the county for that too and she hasn't been able to come back since it happened.
Whatever happens too please keep us updated on your situation so at least someone will know if you've been taken somewhere against your will.

We're going to Pakistan in the summer (family holiday) and I am afraid they'll sneakily try and marry me off. They think my current situation happened because I tried to befriend British girls - I did try and articulate that it was my actions, not anyone else's, that caused it. 

There was the potential of a friend I had (who's also autistic and from the same cultural background) coming up with her mum and her mum having a chat with my parents just so they can actually speak to a parent of an autistic adult. That's obviously just not happening anymore, sadly. It's a shame because I did rely on that somewhat.

I tried aimlessly last year to find support but I couldn't find anyone that could help me when I needed it and, like I said, I didn't want to do anything rash like report them or whatever.

Nooo this is really bad, it's not culture to make your kids feel devalued and want out of a bad parent-child relationship, toxic behaviours isn't culture and I don't think they should be using that as an excuse. I don't think me not being a certain religion is the reason I have a good relationship with my son, the reason I haver a good relationship with my son is because I recognise his own voice has value and when the time comes that he becomes an adult his choices will be his to make.
Please be safe, if they ever lose their temper and beat you or you end up funneled into an unwanted marriage or some other way it gets so bad you just have to leave make sure you have a plan ahead of time and find out where you can stay overnight if you have to even if it's just a shelter temporarily.