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Answering "How are you?"

AC

I generally find the concept of lying abhorrent, so dread the question, especially when I am not OK - which happens often.

I have sometimes paused to think about the answer, which has led to "What's wrong?", to which my answer has been, cryptically, "it's complicated". End of conversation.

It's not that I don't want to talk about it, I do. I just don't feel comfortable in opening up, especially the risk of not being asked again, and generally ignored in the future.

Is it just me?

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  • I respond with "not bad, you?". I see it as part and parcel of "hello". The people who actually care then say "and how are you really?". A lot of the time I don't feel I am anyone's business and if I am not ok it's just easier to keep it to myself instead of having people fussing. I find the whole song and dance strange as often I am still there 5 minutes later while they unload stuff onto me. So I find a lot of people don't follow the rules they set. 

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  • I respond with "not bad, you?". I see it as part and parcel of "hello". The people who actually care then say "and how are you really?". A lot of the time I don't feel I am anyone's business and if I am not ok it's just easier to keep it to myself instead of having people fussing. I find the whole song and dance strange as often I am still there 5 minutes later while they unload stuff onto me. So I find a lot of people don't follow the rules they set. 

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