The plate dispenser theory of issues, trauma and heartache.

 Have you ever gone to a cafe or restaurant and seen one of these things. On the top it seems like there are 3 or 2 plates. But actually there is a spring under the plates and a long shaft they can descend into. There could be 3 plates, or 13, or 20 or more. It seems to me this is the perfect metaphor for the traumas and personal issues that stick to you. To those observing you from a distance it seems you are dealing with 2 or 3 big crisis or emotional issues. It even feels that way to you because the latest fire you've been fighting has forced you to shelve the issues you were wrestling. But if you are fortunate enough to take a plate off the stack you'll find the ones beneath it still there even things from years ago. Over the years it gets deeper and deeper. And everyone around you just assumes all you need to do is deal with the 3 plates. They don't see the heartache from 10 or 20 years ago that's going to emerge if enough of the stack gets taken off you that you can decompress. And you get to the point where it feels like it will never end. You'll never has resolution. And things will never get better because people can't see what you're really battling and even if they could they wouldn't know how to help. It's all below the surface to them.

Does any of this make sense? Can you relate to it?

Parents Reply Children
  • I don't think you realise to what aspect I was refering to but it's been a long day already and extra spoons are a privilege so I'll just stand by what I said and leave it at that.

  • Outreach was vital, during the past four years, in my life. I copied better, than most, during Lockdown as I was able to call a few select friends. Plus, my Artist friend was my de facto Support Bubble.

    Selling the family home, and land, also provided an incentive to be proactive. Dealing with the bureaucratic quagmire kept me ticking. I soon had to get up to speed.

  • I'm sorry but I tend to agree with him. And it's not a uniquely Buddhist philosophy. You can see the same thing in stoicism, to some extent Confucianism. the philosophy of acceptance. And to be blunt you can see aspects of the alternative in non christian religions too. Islam has the concept of jihad which translates as something close to struggle. The struggle to make the world a better place is something very central to christian theology as well. "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

    Modern mental health tends to encourage people to internalise and accept their helplessness. Learn to be happy as things are they say. But one of the hardest things in mental health is fighting alone. Knowing that your situation is intolerable and being told to bare it alone because no one will join you in your struggle. It's a way society excuses itself from providing emotional and practical support to those suffering. By believing the lie that the way to help others is to teach them to accept and tolerate their situation instead of joining them in their struggle to find a way out of their situation.