• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 7 subscribers
  • Views 1032 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Is anyone here transgender?

Cameron

Hi all, 

I'm a transguy and I started hormones last week. I've done hours and hours of research, watched documentaries, YouTube videos on everything, asked lots and lots of transguys question after question, I felt super ready and prepared to start hormones. I got the hormones and a couple of days in, I was suddenly incredibly anxious to the point of shaking and feeling sick. It very suddenly hit me that my body is going to change and I'm really really struggling to process that. I want these changes, I've been wanting them for years, but I'm completely stuck because I'm so so scared of change and it's really impacting my wellbeing and mental health, to the point where I've only been on hormones for a week and I'm considering stopping to take a breather. My OCD has also been triggered and is making things worse. Is anyone else here transgender and what has your experience been like? Did you struggle with this or anything else? Did you autism impact your transition in anyway? Thanks! 

  • NB here.

    It's okay to be anxious, first puberty sucked and having to face a second even by choice isn't a picnic.
    If you want to stop and think about what you want that's okay too, no matter what you decide. Surgery isn't a thing people just do for fun either obvs so it's very daunting, but facts: not all trans people can or do want to physically transition, it doesn't reflect on you or invalidate your identity in anyway. You know what's best for you.

  • I'm autistic and enby masc. I haven't started hormones, but if they are having such a negative effect then it might be a good idea to take a break and ask your doctor for a smaller more manageable dose. Take your time, transition on your own timeline.

    And as your the end bit. My autism and dysphoria seem to tag team me. If I'm having more sensory issues, my dysphoria gets worse, and vice versa. It's a bit of a knock on affect. If 1 thing feels out of balance, everything else that feels out of balance is heightened.

    I don't have any access to gender affirming care or binders ect, so I've had to find ways on the Internet to cope. A lot of the tips for make shift binders or tricks to look more masculine ect, I just couldn't do, I'd be stressed out within minutes, and I would have to stop and make due with the baggy jumpers.

    And even though I found ways to make kind of make-shift binders, a lot of the time I couldn't wear them, because if I had a panic attack it would be even harder to breathe, and it made it a lot harder to run away from assholes.

    I hope that some of this helped,

                        Ash.

  • Hi Cameron, I'm not transgender, but I noticed your post so hope you don't mind me replying.

    If you're really really struggling to process the fact that your body is going to change, and if you're so so scared to the point where it's impacting your mental health, it is ok to press pause, to take more time to reflect and take stock, to consider your options.