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How to cope when there is so much uncertainty plus a lot of change coming up and you have no energy anymore.

Ann :)

Hi, I'm struggling a lot right now with burnout- even incapable of going to work at the moment but the time off has not been relaxing at all as there were first lots of very important decisions to take, then when I finally decided, I realised the option I picked might not happen and I am trying to sort that out but it is pretty much out of my hands and I just need to wait and see what happens- The uncertainty is driving me crazy and I there is not much I can do about it but it means I cannot plan next steps and is causing insane amounts of stress as I want it to work out so badly. I need a goal and I need something positive to focus on and most of all I need this uncertainty to end. 

Now I also have to move to a new flat in 2 days and I have all that to sort out and I just can't cope with more change and hurdles. There are so many issues and even things that should not be huge issues (like possibly not getting permission to install the wifi so not having internet) are just too much. My physical health is a disaster, I am fading away but when I try to eat more I get such awful digestive issues that it is even worse and harder to bear. 

I don't know what else to do anymore and how I can cope with the constant panic inside me which is always there and then rises to crisis levels a few times a day where I just start sobbing or can't breathe anymore. 

How can I cope with change and uncertainty when I have no energy? I desperately need the stress to go so that I can have a chance to recover but noone can sort these things out for me. I am all alone and I can't cope.

Does anyone have any techniques or ideas on how I can manage this anxiety and somehow keep going? I just don't know what to do anymore. I am desperate. 

Parents

  • Hi :) Thanks so much to everyone. Most of my belongings are now in the new flat which is actually amazing! I hadn't realised how oppressive my old place was (it was pretty mouldy, old and though I cleaned for ages when I moved in it wasn't really possible to fully get clean). Things are still super difficult and it is so sad- I didn't carry anything except 1 or 2 carrier bags but even just the slight exertion has made my joints hurt and I am so weak the stairs are a challenge.... but hopefully I can somehow try to move forward now. 

    I talked to my aunt today for the first time in ages (I don't think I've ever phoned)- She recently changed her life a lot, moving abroad, giving up her job etc. and talking to her was very good. She said she feels so much better once she has accepted that things tend to just unfold the way they do- we can do our best and make decisions but ultimately things will unfold. I like this idea, I know I'm not there yet. I have the tendency to want to think that I have some control over things and what happens, but that can cause a lot of pressure and also guilt especially when things don't work out. She also suggested some meditations for me and will send me some links and she recommended a book called "The four agreements". She also urged me to take a break and just fully focus on resting. To try and forget about the future and ground myself. She said that our minds and thoughts can't control or affect the outcome of things anyways. I thought I would share this in case it is useful to anyone else. I only ever saw my aunt at family dinners out years ago and never phoned her, but I am glad we talked (she offered it after we exchanged a few text messages). 

    I feel so lucky that I am getting so much support and advice from all of you and now also from my aunt. It makes me feel less alone and there are things that I can try to manage my anxiety and panic attacks. Hopefully things will workout- I guess my aunt is right though, worrying about all this stuff won't do anything except harm me. I do know this anyways but the questions is: How do I switch off my hyperactive brain from going down all kinds of avenues and hypothetical scenarios.... 

  • in reply to Ann :)

    Hi Ann,

    Glad you're in your new place and that you like it. That's great you connected with your aunt, and that she could give some guidance, and thank you for sharing it with us.

    Do focus on resting. Putting yourself first is the most important thing you can do.

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