I’ve been with my partner for nearly 5 years now. We have two children together. But recently I’ve been very confused about what is normal and what isn’t, and how much I should be tolerating in my relationship?
95% of the time he is rather miserable and moans constantly. I am like a sponge and I absorb other peoples emotions, so his misery and grumpiness really affects me and grinds me down. I assume that this is something I am supposed to tolerate.
But then he is often very snappy with me and I find myself treading on eggshells and not knowing whether to say things to him, which often results in us sitting in silence as I don’t want to say something which will make him snap, moan or make him say something to me in a way that makes me feel bad about myself. Sometimes I decide that I do need to tell him what I’m feeling and then he does have a go at me. Yesterday I confided in how stressed and anxious I am feeling about a new job he was offered (for legitimate reasons, as the pay isn’t reliable and he’s the sole earner in our house). He had a go at me and told me I’m being unsupportive, and then today he also brought this back up and threw it in my face again. He was angry with me because I told him I needed to put away the clean clothes and he had a go at me because I don’t put his clothes away properly (apparently).
I’m now laying in bed confused about our relationship. This happens every month or so. I question what is normal and what isn’t, what I’m supposed to tolerate. I just find that most of the time I question our relationship, I feel like it isn’t normal to feel this upset this often. I’m fed up of constantly feeling down because he is so grumpy about everything. I don’t know if I can realistically spend the rest of my life feeling down because we’ve argued about clean clothes or other stupid things. But then again I shouldn’t walk away from a relationship just because I can’t tolerate his grumpiness?
I’m just really confused about it all.
