Hello all. I've recently started developing a new focused interest and I thought it might be of interest to share some thoughts on what it feels like. (As far as alexithymia will allow.)
I've been feeling quite low for a while due to life issues, coming to terns with diagnosis (which was a good thing but tough to go through), and changes at work. So my usual thing of writing fanfic had been on hiatus for a few months and very little was inspiring me.
Then I watched Our Flag Means Death, and those beautiful gay pirates took over my soul.
I couldn't stop thinking about them. It kept me awake at night. I found myself daydreaming about them as I did chores. I didn't watch all the episodes at once, because I wanted to make it last, but every episode made me love them even more. And then I watched the last two in one sitting, and it just overtook my brain. I wrote a 3000 word fic in the space of a two days, and having to stop writing to do things like work and eat were just vexing. Putting down my phone (where I write) was hard. I was so excited to finish it that I sent it to my proof reader before I'd checked it through and they spotted a bunch of typos and a few bits that I had to edit.
I've posted it today and it was thrilling, and I've had comments on it already which has made me so happy.
What's weird though is that my whole outlook on life seems to be more positive again. Yesterday at work I was being more assertive and talking to people more. I've been feeling happier. I had a new person come around to visit my house today, (early stages of new friendship) and I was nervous about it but it went well.
And I think that rediscovering the joy of a new interest is a bit like falling in love. I feel lighter and excited, but I also feel anxious and exhausted because it's taking up a lot of energy and keeping me awake. The more I can indulge it, the more I can relax.
I don't know if anyone will find these observations relatable, or if you have any similar stories to tell of how discovered somerhing wonderful. I'd love to hear some. At least when I'm not distracted thinking about pirate romance. ;)
