• Replies 15 replies
  • Subscribers 12 subscribers
  • Views 3420 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

I wish I understood my own feelings more

Oakling

Today feels wrong. I feel really off and like things are not right around me, but I don’t know why. I think I am unhappy, but I honestly don’t know yet.

I really wish I could get to grips with things a bit quicker sometimes. Today is one of those instances. I don’t even have the words to talk it through.

In these moments I feel very trapped.

No obvious triggers either which is the frustrating thing. 

Yesterday I was feeling it too, but tried to work through it by staying active and by starting a thread and talking on here about collections and interests. I don’t seem to have the same capacity today.

This is the best I can do at the minute to put some words out there to describe where I am at in this moment in time. I think I wouldn’t manage the same if someone asked how I was in the outside world today. They would encounter a terrible attempt at masking I reckon.

Parents

  • Hello everyone. Thank you for your replies and I am sorry that I didn’t have the spoons available to reply when I really needed to, please know that I was reading your responses as they came through, but just couldn’t for whatever reason articulate a response. A moment of being trapped within myself I think. I am only now finding the words and the ability to write them, but feel I only have enough for this one message at the moment.

    I’ve had a few sleepless nights since my original message, work became extreme for the past couple of days too. One of my most challenging periods of my jobs came back around this week and now I’m exhausted and drained. I was offered support and rejected it, because support came around too suddenly and I couldn’t adjust to the change. I really didn’t help myself there, but quite simply, I couldn’t. Outside of all of this, I think I’m understanding that I’ve been quite low for some time and am only now starting to understand what the off feelings that are radiating from me are.

    When I can, I would like to reply to each of you personally as there are many interesting and thoughtful things to respond to. You took the time to offer support and I would like to recognise that when I can. This message is an attempt at that, but I would like to do more soon.

    Simply learning to accept a state of being, and its temporary nature, is something I would like to do. I am too analytical at times and like to establish cause and effect, but maybe that’s not always needed. This, however, is not something I know how to do. I also have incredibly low self esteem and quite simply do not see myself as having a single redeemable quality. It is a firmly held belief of mine that I am worthless. I have believe this for as long back as I can remember. However, In both of these areas I have decided to try and seek help. I am making moves to do so as of yesterday. I hope this goes well and I can find the guidance I am seeking in order to support myself in these two areas.

    Just a small update and also a message of gratitude for your responses. Take care everyone.

  • in reply to Oakling

    I know it might be useless to tell you how great you are, because that kind of doubt doesn't go away easily, but I'm going to do it anyway.  You're truly thoughtful and your words are always kind.  You're open and honest about your struggles.  Letting yourself be vulnerable has helped other people understand their own struggles.

    I'm glad that you're seeking help.  That is a thing that does take work, and it might also take some persistence to find the right help, but I can say from experience that it is worth it.

    Hang in there.  It does get better. 

Reply
  • in reply to Oakling

    I know it might be useless to tell you how great you are, because that kind of doubt doesn't go away easily, but I'm going to do it anyway.  You're truly thoughtful and your words are always kind.  You're open and honest about your struggles.  Letting yourself be vulnerable has helped other people understand their own struggles.

    I'm glad that you're seeking help.  That is a thing that does take work, and it might also take some persistence to find the right help, but I can say from experience that it is worth it.

    Hang in there.  It does get better. 

Children
No Data