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I wish I understood my own feelings more

Oakling

Today feels wrong. I feel really off and like things are not right around me, but I don’t know why. I think I am unhappy, but I honestly don’t know yet.

I really wish I could get to grips with things a bit quicker sometimes. Today is one of those instances. I don’t even have the words to talk it through.

In these moments I feel very trapped.

No obvious triggers either which is the frustrating thing. 

Yesterday I was feeling it too, but tried to work through it by staying active and by starting a thread and talking on here about collections and interests. I don’t seem to have the same capacity today.

This is the best I can do at the minute to put some words out there to describe where I am at in this moment in time. I think I wouldn’t manage the same if someone asked how I was in the outside world today. They would encounter a terrible attempt at masking I reckon.

Parents

  • Hi

    Some years ago I had a miscarriage. I didn't know I was pregnant (for a variety of reasons that I don't think are particularly relevant to this thread), but my body did. The result was about 3 months of my body mourning something I had no attachment to. I cried every morning and every night, but I wasn't sad for the loss. It was purely my body dealing with the hormonal changes I was going through. This experience helped me to deal with the days like you described. Some days the world seems vibrant and alive, others it's a dark and horrid place to be. I have learnt to make the most of the good days and remember that the bad ones won't last. Triggers aren't always obvious nor important, recognising your needs, on the other hand, is important.

    I don't understand my feelings, however I try to accept them for what they are. Sometimes you need to be sad or angry or confused, I treat my feelings like the figurative rollercoaster and allow myself to collapse in on myself when I need to. Forgiving myself and the world around me is how I have learnt to remain "sane" - I am currently lying in bed after having got up, found that life was too much this morning and returning to my cocoon for safety. I shall get up again soon in order to go to the shops, make lunch and prepare for work - which I will be able to do a much better job at after spending this time back in bed.

    These are some of my experiences, I apologise if they are not particularly eloquent in delivery - I'm not sure I have ever posted in a forum before.

    I hope you have a wonderful day.

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  • Hi

    Some years ago I had a miscarriage. I didn't know I was pregnant (for a variety of reasons that I don't think are particularly relevant to this thread), but my body did. The result was about 3 months of my body mourning something I had no attachment to. I cried every morning and every night, but I wasn't sad for the loss. It was purely my body dealing with the hormonal changes I was going through. This experience helped me to deal with the days like you described. Some days the world seems vibrant and alive, others it's a dark and horrid place to be. I have learnt to make the most of the good days and remember that the bad ones won't last. Triggers aren't always obvious nor important, recognising your needs, on the other hand, is important.

    I don't understand my feelings, however I try to accept them for what they are. Sometimes you need to be sad or angry or confused, I treat my feelings like the figurative rollercoaster and allow myself to collapse in on myself when I need to. Forgiving myself and the world around me is how I have learnt to remain "sane" - I am currently lying in bed after having got up, found that life was too much this morning and returning to my cocoon for safety. I shall get up again soon in order to go to the shops, make lunch and prepare for work - which I will be able to do a much better job at after spending this time back in bed.

    These are some of my experiences, I apologise if they are not particularly eloquent in delivery - I'm not sure I have ever posted in a forum before.

    I hope you have a wonderful day.

Children
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