I wish I understood my own feelings more

Today feels wrong. I feel really off and like things are not right around me, but I don’t know why. I think I am unhappy, but I honestly don’t know yet.

I really wish I could get to grips with things a bit quicker sometimes. Today is one of those instances. I don’t even have the words to talk it through.

In these moments I feel very trapped.

No obvious triggers either which is the frustrating thing. 

Yesterday I was feeling it too, but tried to work through it by staying active and by starting a thread and talking on here about collections and interests. I don’t seem to have the same capacity today.

This is the best I can do at the minute to put some words out there to describe where I am at in this moment in time. I think I wouldn’t manage the same if someone asked how I was in the outside world today. They would encounter a terrible attempt at masking I reckon.

Parents
  • I'm coming out of very short retirement as I totally get where you are coming from. I've since realised for me, it's often when either things have deviated from The Plan or if there are external demands on me, such as socialising etc or even if from myself such as going shopping when I don't want to but need to. I've since realised this was miles worse when in burnout. It was a bit like constant Sunday night or Monday morning feeling for me. But even that I don't feel is accurate enough. It's like massive unease. I think in the past it made me have low mood. Not knowing how I feel gives me low mood. Now I've noticed patterns I'm a bit more like "yeah hh it's that again....it'll pass". It might not be obvious things but maybe keep a diary and I use red amber and green. This is easier than doing a numerical scale so a bit more intuitive.

    A wise friend said,  if you're having a *** day then have a *** day. I'm a firm believer of tomorrow is another day.

    I think it's tricky because we need answers. How do I feel and why. And needing to find exactly the right words to articulate this so I understand. But the paradox is sometimes there are no answers or no immediate ones. I do find distraction helps.

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  • I'm coming out of very short retirement as I totally get where you are coming from. I've since realised for me, it's often when either things have deviated from The Plan or if there are external demands on me, such as socialising etc or even if from myself such as going shopping when I don't want to but need to. I've since realised this was miles worse when in burnout. It was a bit like constant Sunday night or Monday morning feeling for me. But even that I don't feel is accurate enough. It's like massive unease. I think in the past it made me have low mood. Not knowing how I feel gives me low mood. Now I've noticed patterns I'm a bit more like "yeah hh it's that again....it'll pass". It might not be obvious things but maybe keep a diary and I use red amber and green. This is easier than doing a numerical scale so a bit more intuitive.

    A wise friend said,  if you're having a *** day then have a *** day. I'm a firm believer of tomorrow is another day.

    I think it's tricky because we need answers. How do I feel and why. And needing to find exactly the right words to articulate this so I understand. But the paradox is sometimes there are no answers or no immediate ones. I do find distraction helps.

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