vent

Hello Autistic tribe Slight smile

Bit of a vent: my mum is driving me up the wall. I am 27 and I have recently graduated University, so I live with my parents due to financial reasons. I'm also on the spectrum. My mum is making my home environment so uncomfortable. She is deaf but she constantly has the TV turned up at a very loud volume; she argues with me over every tiny thing she can pick on and is generally rude and nasty to be around. My dad (also suspected autistic) agrees with me so please don't go off in the comments about how I should respect my elders and all that! 

Mum's daily routine involves waking up between 10am-noon, watching TV, drinking cider and sleeping with the odd bit of housework. She is stubborn-minded and clearly has mental health issues as well as her physical health problems but she will not accept or get help for it. My mum mentioned to me in passing once or twice in the past that she was diagnosed with bipolar; (something which I suspect I also have on top of other things). 

My dad has also broken his back in 4 places through wear and tear in the workplace. He is the one that looks after the household money as my mum can't handle it. I am the one that goes out with a shopping list and buys daily things we need and want. 

To sum up, my mum is making my life a living nightmare. I am also really tired of being called 'lazy' when I've done nothing but help her and around the house since I was old enough. I also have my own problems which no one seems to be able to/want to help me with.

Thank you for reading.

Parents
  • Hi Shortstuff,

    that sounds hugely stressful - I’m sorry. Our home such ideally be a sanctuary - and it’s very hard for it to feel stressful in the way you describe.

    would your parents be willing to attend a sort of ‘family meeting’ where you can all calmly discuss the things that aren’t working very well for you all at the moment? If you approached that idea in a calm, supportive and non-judgemental way? 
    I imagine your mum loves you and wants you all to get along - so she might be amenable to a friendly chat about how you all feel things are going since you moved back home.

    Do you have your own room and your own space in the house?

    Alternatively is it at all possible that you could move somewhere else at some point? Or is not not practically possible? 

Reply
  • Hi Shortstuff,

    that sounds hugely stressful - I’m sorry. Our home such ideally be a sanctuary - and it’s very hard for it to feel stressful in the way you describe.

    would your parents be willing to attend a sort of ‘family meeting’ where you can all calmly discuss the things that aren’t working very well for you all at the moment? If you approached that idea in a calm, supportive and non-judgemental way? 
    I imagine your mum loves you and wants you all to get along - so she might be amenable to a friendly chat about how you all feel things are going since you moved back home.

    Do you have your own room and your own space in the house?

    Alternatively is it at all possible that you could move somewhere else at some point? Or is not not practically possible? 

Children
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