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vent

shortstuff

Hello Autistic tribe Slight smile

Bit of a vent: my mum is driving me up the wall. I am 27 and I have recently graduated University, so I live with my parents due to financial reasons. I'm also on the spectrum. My mum is making my home environment so uncomfortable. She is deaf but she constantly has the TV turned up at a very loud volume; she argues with me over every tiny thing she can pick on and is generally rude and nasty to be around. My dad (also suspected autistic) agrees with me so please don't go off in the comments about how I should respect my elders and all that! 

Mum's daily routine involves waking up between 10am-noon, watching TV, drinking cider and sleeping with the odd bit of housework. She is stubborn-minded and clearly has mental health issues as well as her physical health problems but she will not accept or get help for it. My mum mentioned to me in passing once or twice in the past that she was diagnosed with bipolar; (something which I suspect I also have on top of other things). 

My dad has also broken his back in 4 places through wear and tear in the workplace. He is the one that looks after the household money as my mum can't handle it. I am the one that goes out with a shopping list and buys daily things we need and want. 

To sum up, my mum is making my life a living nightmare. I am also really tired of being called 'lazy' when I've done nothing but help her and around the house since I was old enough. I also have my own problems which no one seems to be able to/want to help me with.

Thank you for reading.

Parents

  • Shortstuff,

    There !  I bet you feel a lot better now you've got that all written down.

    Have you thought about seeing a counsellor? I found it a great help when I was going through a lengthy bad patch a few years ago.  I used to write it all down in rather weird, slightly obscure verses which made me feel I'd done something creative with my angst. And I had ! My counsellor and I explored all sorts of things off the back of them. There was often a lot more in them than I'd knowingly written.

    Big things can seem a whole lot smaller once they're down on paper.

    I don't do it just now, but would if I needed to.

    Ben

  • in reply to Ben

    Hi there. Counselling really didn't help me in the past. Just felt like we were going round in circles! My cousin recommended I do more abstract artwork to explore my emotions though.

Reply Children
  • in reply to shortstuff

    shortstuff, your cousin's recommendation sounds good, If you've got a creative streak  you should explore it.

    Ben

  • in reply to shortstuff

    I found counselling with a counselling who is autism aware 100% more successful than with one who admitted they knew nothing about autism. 
    A counsellor who only knows solutions for Neurotypicals won't understand why you can't do or process what they want you to process in the only way non autistic people do stuff - and hence you end up in circles.

    There's a list on this website of autism skilled counsellors - I had years with my NT counsellor - good for grief, but useless for relationships. one month in with my ND counsellor - and loads more progress than made in all the previous years.

    Otherwise regarding your situation - the main thing is to show up every day and don't give up, ever. Some of us are a lot older and been through similar, and the best reassurance I can give here is - it will get better, trust us on that.