Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone.
A wonderful friend of mine suggested posting here in the hopes that I can find some advice.
My thoughts are running so fast that I'm struggling to start. I'm struggling with everything right now, to the point living is just too overwhelming. I'm failing in my home life and failing in my work life. It feels too impossible to get through it, though I know there must be a way through, I'm just not able too see it.
I'm currently on the waiting list for talk therapy, for the 3rd time, this time to ascertain whether or not the pins and needles in my mouth and side of my face is due to anxiety. I can't talk to a GP anymore, I don't want medication it makes me feel really unwell. I don't want to be sent contact details of Samaritans, or any other groups, again. That's not helpful. I really don't like asking for help, I've been conditioned to believe that's wrong. And I'm falling down a black hole and can't see a way out.
I've lost myself, not that I've ever really understood myself. I'm only eating once a day, a small meal, and I think it's my way of gaining some sense of control.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I apologise for the very long and pointless post.
I love the feat you express yourself Number, it's perfect.
Thank you.
Feeling a bit like monkey see, monkey do. Which won't make sense to anyone but me.
Good morning Pikl.
Nothing to say, except, Hi...and I hope your Saturday is proving to be an acceptable experience.
Flipping heck, I do express myself in the most autistic language imaginable at times. I'm not at all sure how to express my feeling - but you're on my mind and I'm trying to transmit some caring vibes in your direction. x
No bother.
I'm sorry, I read something that's sent my head reeling. I'm not thinking right.
I don't think so.....just flipping out a little perhaps. We've all been there.
I'm an idiot
Or not. All cool. No stress.
OK. You can send PM if you are scared of causing offence....you won't upset me.
I don't know how to phrase it, and there's a risk it may upset someone. And I probably should stay away from people and not waffle stuff that bothers me when I'm tired and stressed and in a bad place. So I'm sorry I started this. Just ignore me.
Just launch it.
I want to ask a question but I don't know how to ask it.
I didn't think I'd be able to smile today, but you made it happen. Thank you
Thank you Ruby-Rose
Thank you Luftmentsch
Deepthought said:‘Prosopagnosia’
I have that!! Didn't realise it until I saw it in black and white, but suddenly it came clear..
Certain quizzical memories suddenly snapped into focus...
I do love that fact that all those nasty little mysteries that have dogged me for a half century now get explained at last, post diagnosis.
"Pikled mess".....that sounds like a delicious Eastern European savoury dessert ?!
Keep smiling Pikl.
I'm so sorry to hear that! I hope you're ok now. Don't worry about replying just look after yourself x
Ruby-Rose.
Thank you so much, as always Deepthought. Your help and guidance is truly appreciated. I'm a bit of a mess at the moment and I'm grateful to you for helping me pick up the pieces.
Pikl said:Thank you Deepthought.
I am always glad to be of some service ~ plus it gives me good reason to provide information for everyone else too.
Pikl said: I didn't consider contacting the psychiatrist and checking they were accepted by NHS for adults.
If the diagnosis is not accepted by the NHS, I would seriously consider getting a refund, whereas if your assessment was done in accordance with the NICE guidelines ~ which it blooming well should have been ~ you could just send a copy of your diagnostic report to your GP, and have them update your medical records ~ which is really really really important.
For the purpose of reassurance though, getting in touch with the psychiatrist first would obviously be a good idea, given that you would thereafter be able to proceed in confidence (or at least with increasing confidence) in respect of being treated as an autistic individual ~ with the rights of an autistic individual.
Pikl said:I dont want to be a burden on the NHS.
You are so not a burden on the NHS Pikl ~ for just as Number stated, it is there to help us when we are not well, and to help us also keep well.
If anything ~ it really does appear that it is you who has been burdened with unfounded doubts about your diagnosis; due to other people’s ignorance about what autism describes in terms of it being a ‘spectrum condition’ ~ such as some experiencing empathy to overwhelming extents; all the way around to others having ‘Alexithymia’ which defines having difficulty or even no ability at all to relate with or identify emotions, which can be further compounded as a problem when ‘Prosopagnosia’ is the case, otherwise known as 'face-blindness' ~ so no clue as to whether someone is smiling, frowning or what!
You are 2% more Autistic than me.
That makes you the superior 'Sperg in this conversation!
What would you have me do, my queen?
:c)