Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone.
A wonderful friend of mine suggested posting here in the hopes that I can find some advice.
My thoughts are running so fast that I'm struggling to start. I'm struggling with everything right now, to the point living is just too overwhelming. I'm failing in my home life and failing in my work life. It feels too impossible to get through it, though I know there must be a way through, I'm just not able too see it.
I'm currently on the waiting list for talk therapy, for the 3rd time, this time to ascertain whether or not the pins and needles in my mouth and side of my face is due to anxiety. I can't talk to a GP anymore, I don't want medication it makes me feel really unwell. I don't want to be sent contact details of Samaritans, or any other groups, again. That's not helpful. I really don't like asking for help, I've been conditioned to believe that's wrong. And I'm falling down a black hole and can't see a way out.
I've lost myself, not that I've ever really understood myself. I'm only eating once a day, a small meal, and I think it's my way of gaining some sense of control.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I apologise for the very long and pointless post.
Dear Pikl,
I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling like that. I am coming out of a low in my bipolar and wanted to let you know that things can get better. I also wanted to let you know that all your posts have helped me so much while I've been on here.
I have a list of things to do in my low which are similar to things I use for autistic burnout - I find that covering both elements helps get me well again.
I am struggling at work (been off sick) and home. It is very hard to keep going. And boring waiting for time to pass to feel better.
IM me if there's anything I can do to help.
xx Mrs Snooks
Thank you so much Mrs Snooks. Bipolar as well as autism must be very challenging and draining. I'm glad you have ways to help, and waiting to get better must feel like it drags on.
I still live and work as NT and haven't allowed myself permission otherwise. Part of me wonders that if I had an NHS diagnosis, I get my assessment this year, rather than the private one. But I'm sure I will over analyse that and find fault in it.
Good to hear you're doing well.