Recent diagnosis, separating anxiety and autism

I'm hyper aware through noting anxiety triggers that were always there vs ones that developed over time and having specific non-autism related triggers that I have BOTH anxiety from trying and failing to fit into allist/neurotypical normative society as an autistic person AND anxiety that arose from abuse in childhood trauma, which an allist would also develop if they went through it. But the anxiety of those two separate categories do interact and exacerbate eachother.

I feel uncomfortable when people say the two are innately or more specifically causally linked because that implies that allists shouldn't get anxiety or ptsd, or worse that I "only have cptsd because of the autism" (as if my mother didn't regularly beat me black and blue or call me worthless on a regular basis) (I've seen it even outright claimed before too, never mind implied) and that is unhelpful because it doesn't accept that being different is just different, not more or less than, and also it dismisses the abuse I had to endure for decades. So yh I have autistic trauma (+autism anxiety), but I also have autism and trauma (+anxiety) separate.

As for helping strategies, I dunno if you get panic attacks but I've applied breathing exercises to both panic attacks and start-up meltdowns with some success. If you have asthma or long covid I also recomend the shorter versions eg. breathe in for count of 3 through nose, hold for count of one, then out through the mouth for the count of 4, and repeat for 30-60 seconds until youstart to feel calmer.
Hope that helps.

(Sorry to go on a bit but it's too important a subject so rather than leave it open to misunderstanding I wanted to further clarify the point.) I'm not disagreeing with Dawn's point above:

Dawn said:

We often have these anxieties because we are autistic yet trying to live in a world not built for us.

But it is a fact that my mother didn't abuse me because I have autism, my mother abused me because she was* abusive.

*still is, I cut contact with her and now without her fave punchbag my brother gets it in the neck instead whenever he visits her.

I appologise that was a very emotionally heavy reply, I just felt I couldn't be entirely honest without the context.

🐝 Bees 🐝 (they/them) Autism resources in bio #stoptheshock #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs said:

(Sorry to go on a bit but it's too important a subject so rather than leave it open to misunderstanding I wanted to further clarify the point.)

Don't need to apologize, I fully understand you needed to say the clarification and detail for context. 

I think I still have a long way to go to learn what's going on or at least learn to let some things be but you have given me a deal to think about as a starting discussion thank you. 

And thank you for the breathing tips - after years of panic attack I thankfully don't have them regularly anymore; but whether this is because I avoid causes now I'm not sure.

Thankyou 

🐝 Bees 🐝 (they/them) Autism resources in bio #stoptheshock #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs said:

(Sorry to go on a bit but it's too important a subject so rather than leave it open to misunderstanding I wanted to further clarify the point.)

Don't need to apologize, I fully understand you needed to say the clarification and detail for context. 

I think I still have a long way to go to learn what's going on or at least learn to let some things be but you have given me a deal to think about as a starting discussion thank you. 

And thank you for the breathing tips - after years of panic attack I thankfully don't have them regularly anymore; but whether this is because I avoid causes now I'm not sure.

Thankyou