Recent diagnosis, separating anxiety and autism

Anxiety impacts Autists with more intensity and for seemingly different reasons. 

Genuine life complexities. Learning to recognise and identify / understand a seemingly invisible system. From symbiotic plant-life and fungi or an exchange between 2 humans, both require some research. Sometimes, once we understand the details of what is happening in the exchange at a core fundamental level, the anxiety eases.

Excitement spiralling into Anxiety. It's midnight and I've worked out this massive conundrum. It's epic and my whole brain is lit up. My circuitry is also extraordinarily exhausted - a mismatch for the moment. I make a point of writing it all down or I just won't sleep. Even if it's colder on the other side of my duvet. 

A song won't stop looping. This is the worst for me - they will keep me awake until 5/6 am or even longer. Pure torture. I will take anti-anxiety meds now I'm nearly 50 if if it's midnight and playing another album till I fall asleep doesn't help.

A past unresolved issue. Or many. Something beyond my control that happened in the past which I cannot reconcile and haunts me. These need time and a great deal of wisdom, understanding psychology, learning about my values, the differences between boundaries and abuse. Many things I can look back on now and have worked out myself, whether thankful I don't have someone who was incredibly toxic in my life (regardless of my ability to handle it at the time) or look back and recognise the immaturity. There have been those who apologised after a few years and I just had to wait and others who reaped what they'd sow. Autistics will have experienced a great deal more rejection and conflict than a person should. And the frustrating part is our inability to forget because we are Driven To Resolve (as opposed to being driven to Dominate).

Everything-all-at-once. My brain might resemble: a puddle of messy cables or an unhinged library with literally books everywhere. Monotropism helps understand how we're capable of making hyper-connexions, I think something to do with what some research has found regarding our Gamma waves has something to do with this. These are the only ones which are full-brain apparently. There's also research showing how we might utilise a sort of full-brain equally balanced thinking rather than asymmetrical focused in the lobes responsible for language and symbols. 

Unidentified impact from sensory elements. A different Salience Network. I personally think the autistic design of 'human' is a bit akin to the health and safety department of the tribe. We cannot filter out unwanted sensory elements like our neuronormative peers. Psychoanalysis would suggest this is due to a different use of vocabulary and that words / language helps shape filtering which also shapes how NTs mature. Regardless, the ability to sense-perceive the world as too real can have an advantage but also needs shielding. autcollab.org/.../

Anxiety is an appropriate response to being thrown into Survival Mode. All of these things can be overwhelming. Turing off the lights and lighting a candle might fix hyper sensory stimuli from an unnatural light source. Taking off a polyester blend shirt and changing into 100% cotton may fix it. Walking outside of a loud shop may have an immediate effect. The lights and bad acoustics cause a low-grade anxiety that effects my breathing. Sometimes I don't notice it till I step outside. Anxiety comes from being under pressure. And since Autistics don't filter as easily as our NT peers, collecting too much information and aren't able to consciously keep up with what our brain is trying to process, all of it will cause anxiety. 

I think we are wired for a different lifestyle.

Anxiety impacts Autists with more intensity and for seemingly different reasons. 

Genuine life complexities. Learning to recognise and identify / understand a seemingly invisible system. From symbiotic plant-life and fungi or an exchange between 2 humans, both require some research. Sometimes, once we understand the details of what is happening in the exchange at a core fundamental level, the anxiety eases.

Excitement spiralling into Anxiety. It's midnight and I've worked out this massive conundrum. It's epic and my whole brain is lit up. My circuitry is also extraordinarily exhausted - a mismatch for the moment. I make a point of writing it all down or I just won't sleep. Even if it's colder on the other side of my duvet. 

A song won't stop looping. This is the worst for me - they will keep me awake until 5/6 am or even longer. Pure torture. I will take anti-anxiety meds now I'm nearly 50 if if it's midnight and playing another album till I fall asleep doesn't help.

A past unresolved issue. Or many. Something beyond my control that happened in the past which I cannot reconcile and haunts me. These need time and a great deal of wisdom, understanding psychology, learning about my values, the differences between boundaries and abuse. Many things I can look back on now and have worked out myself, whether thankful I don't have someone who was incredibly toxic in my life (regardless of my ability to handle it at the time) or look back and recognise the immaturity. There have been those who apologised after a few years and I just had to wait and others who reaped what they'd sow. Autistics will have experienced a great deal more rejection and conflict than a person should. And the frustrating part is our inability to forget because we are Driven To Resolve (as opposed to being driven to Dominate).

Everything-all-at-once. My brain might resemble: a puddle of messy cables or an unhinged library with literally books everywhere. Monotropism helps understand how we're capable of making hyper-connexions, I think something to do with what some research has found regarding our Gamma waves has something to do with this. These are the only ones which are full-brain apparently. There's also research showing how we might utilise a sort of full-brain equally balanced thinking rather than asymmetrical focused in the lobes responsible for language and symbols. 

Unidentified impact from sensory elements. A different Salience Network. I personally think the autistic design of 'human' is a bit akin to the health and safety department of the tribe. We cannot filter out unwanted sensory elements like our neuronormative peers. Psychoanalysis would suggest this is due to a different use of vocabulary and that words / language helps shape filtering which also shapes how NTs mature. Regardless, the ability to sense-perceive the world as too real can have an advantage but also needs shielding. autcollab.org/.../

Anxiety is an appropriate response to being thrown into Survival Mode. All of these things can be overwhelming. Turing off the lights and lighting a candle might fix hyper sensory stimuli from an unnatural light source. Taking off a polyester blend shirt and changing into 100% cotton may fix it. Walking outside of a loud shop may have an immediate effect. The lights and bad acoustics cause a low-grade anxiety that effects my breathing. Sometimes I don't notice it till I step outside. Anxiety comes from being under pressure. And since Autistics don't filter as easily as our NT peers, collecting too much information and aren't able to consciously keep up with what our brain is trying to process, all of it will cause anxiety. 

I think we are wired for a different lifestyle.

Thank you I can relate to all of what you have said, this in particular is a repeated thing that bothers me regularly and I can't seem to handle things being unresolved.  

JuniperFromGallifrey said:

A past unresolved issue. Or many. Something beyond my control that happened in the past which I cannot reconcile and haunts me.

In your experience, is there a successful way of dealing with a past unresolved issue (not the issue it self, but more the communication and handling of the issue) as in, does removing all connections of that past issue help (like if it's a person blocking all contact) or do you just try to accept and minise your obsessive thinking? Sorry I realised that could be a discussion itself! 

JuniperFromGallifrey said:

Autistics don't filter as easily as our NT peers, collecting too much information and aren't able to consciously keep up with what our brain is trying to process, all of it will cause anxiety. 

I think we are wired for a different lifestyle.

This helps thankyou 

:)