Sensory/Crowd Issues Post-COVID

Get well soon!

Ironically, after talking about all of this I have tested positive for Covid tonight so looks like Im gonna get a bit more piece and quiet away from the world

Yes, I remember when the lockdown started thinking, "I socially distanced before it was cool!"

YES!! I also found less anxiety because I didn't feel obliged to see people and when I did it was often a much shorter visit wit less expectation. This Christmas I've been discussing with my partner, when doing the rounds delivering presents why we can't just do what we did in lockdown which was a quick chat on the door step then goodbye. 

I think because I got my diagnosis in lockdown I could see just how much things had affected me by their absence and the difficulties they gave. I think this is one of the good things to come out of the pause because I might not actually had seen just how much things affected me if the world was "normal". I've got the added bonus of additional health matters now so I can use this and people seem to understand more when I have to pace myself, altho I wish I could say otherwise.

The fact that everyone else seemed to want it all to go back to loud and fast made it harder bevause I felt a bit alienated.

I do similar, like I tend to go to the shopping centre on Mondays cos its always quiet so I was really shocked how bad it was yesterday. I guess I underestimated the frenzy of Christmas shopping. 

I worry about mine too, like I have no desire for a social life. My wife gets upset when she cant see her friends or plans get cancelled and I feel bad cos I cant understand why she wants that. I feel afraid of retreating to much but at the moment being in my little house with my family and going out to feed the ducks or go to a quiet bookshop is the only thing that makes me happy

Exactly. I hated lockdown because of the fear of catching covid and cos of sports not being on etc but I do remember hearing everyone keep saying they couldnt wait for life to get back to "normal" and I remember I kept thinking "but I dont want life to get back to normal. I hated normal, normal didnt work for me!"

Yes. On the few occasions I go to a shop I go first thing when they open because it’s quiet - but I’m avoiding them completely at the moment because I imagine even then it won’t be quiet because of Christmas. I do worry though about my ‘hermit like’ tendencies as I feel that there is a danger in retreating too much from the world. Ultimately I feel I’ll be happier if I can make good connections with my fellow human beings. 

I don't know if lockdown reduced my tolerance but it made me see what the world could be like and this was more suitable for autistic people, introverts, sensitive people etc. I was told by a mental health professional when discussing I felt the world was overwhelming again that I lived in a bubble because I wanted the peace and quiet of lockdown back. I think just bevause something is how itsalways been doesnt mean it always has to be that way or that its right. Mental health resources on MIND and at work told me people were anxious for lockdown ending because they didn't want to catch covid not because the world would get fast and loud again. I couldn't find any official material that agreed with my world view.

Same, I used to go to big football stadiums like Wembley and the Emerates, now I can barely even cope with my own local little ground

Autonomistic said:

I remember loving lockdown living and thinking I was born to live like this.

Same here. I think all humans were.

I really really agree with this. Yesterday I went to the big shopping centre. I often go there on a Monday as it is usually nearly empty and I like to go to the bookshop and sit and read. 
Yesterday it was packed! People were everywhere, I couldnt move. Burger King which is usually nearly deserted had a queue out of the door. People were so rude as well, barging me, stepping on my feet, it was horrible. I feel so shaken by it Im now scared to leave the house till after all this Christmas madness is over 

Lockdown definitley reduced my capacity to deal with this as everything was so quiet for a while. I dont want to go back to it but it was peaceful in a way. I found out I was autistic in 2020 so dont know if I am more aware of this now too

I can identify with that. I found out I was autistic during Covid too so I dont know if part of it is being more aware of it now. I used to sometimes try and avoid big crowds before and hated queues etc but never knew why. Now I really cant cope with them,, I think a big part of it is having such a break from it duirng lockdown too

I’ve struggled with the move away from social distancing to be honest. Both at work and out ‘in the wild’. Everyone seems very happy, especially at this time of the year, to be very close to one another. It lead to a mini episode yesterday in fact. People are happy to be uncomfortably close in my eyes, just so they can reach over and grab those sausage rolls etc.

At work, somebody moved all the chairs much closer together in the staff seating area because ‘we didn’t need to be so far apart anymore’. Everyone exclaimed how lovely that was, except for a few quieter people who much preferred the other arrangement. It’s taken me months to build back up to sitting in there again and only then can I do it if I’m wearing noise reducing earbuds to reduced one of the aspects of sensory input. It’s so alien to me to want to be so close to someone I only know as a colleague that it was a total surprise when the move was made and when everyone agreed that it was a good move. Some moments make you realise how different your view of the world is and this was definitely one of them.

Yes me too.

I remember loving lockdown living and thinking I was born to live like this. I'd been practising social distancing my entire life! Having people keep 2 metres away from me was great, 20 metres would have been even better. 

I definitely struggle with noise and crowds a lot more since then. As a result I go out much less than I used to before Covid. I just can't tolerate the noise or people.

So glad it's not just me. Good to see your reply. I had noticed you hadn't been on here for a while.

Yes. I wasn't sure if it was because I realised I was autistic during lockdown. I don't go in shops very often now and work from home. When I go to places with people like shops or church I have to do a lot of preparation. The best places to go out are in woodland where quiet or a local nursery with plenty of room and airy.

I recently had to go into office as the home system link went wrong so lots of people were in. I had a meltdown about going in and found myself tearful when I got there. Fortunately my managers let me go home as soon as it was possible.

I also find it much harder if someone is visiting at home. 

I think I have realised how much more relaxing is at home. In the early but if lockdown I found my whole body relax as I had a very stressful time before that. It was especially lovely to go on peaceful distanced walks. Now I find I am less relaxed again and sometimes everything feels an effort.

Totally. Me and my son both feel like this. I get the most awful feeling of aversion when I’m near other people anywhere now. 

Yes, and no. I think it has slightly changed the parameters of which sense overloads first, like I am still very sensitive to smells but it's taken some damage after actually catching covid so now it isn't the most sensitive.
When the virus caused secondary infections that got into my inner ear and sinuses it left me with what the GP thinks is tinnitus but it comes and goes in reaction to "sharp" noises, and sometimes contributes to the background noise that can become audiably overwhelming.

Also I got so used to the quiet of lockdowns which was actually kind of nice so now we have "gone back to normal" (haha) I keep thinking was it always this loud before? The lockdowns also did something odd to my short term to long term memory so it's also hard to tell more exactly if it was like this or not for me before covid/lockdowns in general tbh.