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Challenges faced when visiting venues

LKB92

Hi,

I'm keen to understand the challenges other people face when socialising - so visiting venues, meeting friends etc. What is the barrier that stops you from doing what you'd like to do and what do you have in place or what do you do to push yourself or a friend/family member etc.

Thanks,

Parents

  • I really struggle to start conversations.  It's hard for me just to go up and talk to someone, even someone I know.  Sometimes even my spouse if it's something important. 

    I've found that since I started dying my hair pink or purple, people come up and talk to me more, to ask about my hair or because they find it interesting.

    I also have difficulty finding my way in group conversations.  I can't find the gaps in the conversation or get my words out fast enough before someone else is speaking.  There's no way around this except for other people being kind and patient and making the effort to include me.

  • in reply to Glitter
    Glitter said:
    I can't find the gaps in the conversation or get my words out fast enough before someone else is speaking.  There's no way around this except for other people being kind and patient and making the effort to include me.

    &

    Glitter said:
    I really struggle to start conversations.

    That is anxiety inducing for sure. I recognise that in myself too and it's something I've really had to learn to get better at over time. Maybe it's just a skill, maybe it's a cope, maybe it's part of the mask (I'm not sure which at this point to be honest.)
    It reminds me of when a load of people are in a voice chat in a game and as far as I know they could all be neurotypical but I notice they end up talking all over eachother because they can't see when the other person starts moving their mouth to talk, because it's all just audio. And I had a humorous moment at their expense because in that scenario they had basically become me: how I was for a huge proportion of my life never knowing when to speak or stop or... etc.
    But oddly in the voice chat (quite pleasantly) I found people started opening up "space" for others to talk, apologising when they spoke over eachother and taking turns to talk more by leaving longer gaps after saying a bit. Makes me wish that would happen IRL a lot more.

Reply
  • in reply to Glitter
    Glitter said:
    I can't find the gaps in the conversation or get my words out fast enough before someone else is speaking.  There's no way around this except for other people being kind and patient and making the effort to include me.

    &

    Glitter said:
    I really struggle to start conversations.

    That is anxiety inducing for sure. I recognise that in myself too and it's something I've really had to learn to get better at over time. Maybe it's just a skill, maybe it's a cope, maybe it's part of the mask (I'm not sure which at this point to be honest.)
    It reminds me of when a load of people are in a voice chat in a game and as far as I know they could all be neurotypical but I notice they end up talking all over eachother because they can't see when the other person starts moving their mouth to talk, because it's all just audio. And I had a humorous moment at their expense because in that scenario they had basically become me: how I was for a huge proportion of my life never knowing when to speak or stop or... etc.
    But oddly in the voice chat (quite pleasantly) I found people started opening up "space" for others to talk, apologising when they spoke over eachother and taking turns to talk more by leaving longer gaps after saying a bit. Makes me wish that would happen IRL a lot more.

Children
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