I feel really sad today

I find it really hard to control my emotions, especially when I’m feeling sad. Today I’ve woken up and I feel really sad, I’m trying not to cry as I find it hard to stop when I start. 

I’m finding it really overwhelming dealing with and coming to terms with the thought that I could be autistic (awaiting assessment), and I’m struggling in my relationship. I don’t know if I’m happy in my relationship. I do love my boyfriend and we have children together but I just don’t know if this is what I want and I don’t know how to try and understand if the relationship needs to end or not. I just don’t know what’s normal and what isn’t normal and I have no friends to ask. 

I’m feeling so lost today. Sorry to write this post but I was hoping getting it out may help.

Parents
  • Hello Anon16, I fully understand how you are feeling, it was 14 months ago that the ‘A bomb’ dropped on me. Emotions are still a rollercoaster, I have thoughts of being a bad parent, husband and generally a sh*t  person. Autism is a huge thing to come to terms with. Don’t throw a relationship away, it has come into my mind a lot, am I causing damage to the people around me? No they are on this journey with me,  we are trying to process it all and our  families are doing their best as well. I have days when I can’t get out of bed, eventually I get up and dress, Have a quiet day for your needs and be kind to yourself, you are worth it. We have had a lifetime of just being lost and hating ourselves, the waiting for assessment is really hard but you will come out the other side, yes there is no support, it’s being able to talk with people on this site that keeps me going on days when I have very dark thoughts. You will eventually workout who you are and hopefully smile again, just take it all at your own pace. You aren’t broken, your just different. Hope you’re feeling better soon.

Reply
  • Hello Anon16, I fully understand how you are feeling, it was 14 months ago that the ‘A bomb’ dropped on me. Emotions are still a rollercoaster, I have thoughts of being a bad parent, husband and generally a sh*t  person. Autism is a huge thing to come to terms with. Don’t throw a relationship away, it has come into my mind a lot, am I causing damage to the people around me? No they are on this journey with me,  we are trying to process it all and our  families are doing their best as well. I have days when I can’t get out of bed, eventually I get up and dress, Have a quiet day for your needs and be kind to yourself, you are worth it. We have had a lifetime of just being lost and hating ourselves, the waiting for assessment is really hard but you will come out the other side, yes there is no support, it’s being able to talk with people on this site that keeps me going on days when I have very dark thoughts. You will eventually workout who you are and hopefully smile again, just take it all at your own pace. You aren’t broken, your just different. Hope you’re feeling better soon.

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