I feel really sad today

I find it really hard to control my emotions, especially when I’m feeling sad. Today I’ve woken up and I feel really sad, I’m trying not to cry as I find it hard to stop when I start. 

I’m finding it really overwhelming dealing with and coming to terms with the thought that I could be autistic (awaiting assessment), and I’m struggling in my relationship. I don’t know if I’m happy in my relationship. I do love my boyfriend and we have children together but I just don’t know if this is what I want and I don’t know how to try and understand if the relationship needs to end or not. I just don’t know what’s normal and what isn’t normal and I have no friends to ask. 

I’m feeling so lost today. Sorry to write this post but I was hoping getting it out may help.

Parents
  • I'm finding it really overwelming dealing with and coming to terms with being autistic.

    I haven't known for 50 years what and how I am, but I fabricated myself a life to cope with the realities as I perceived them.

    7 years ago the wheels came off my train.  Everyone bore with me........I rather pissed away 7 years in a self indulgent and mindless search for why the really peculiar aspects of my behaviours and thoughts happened, over, and over again - normally ending in mild financial catastrophe.

    Knowing I'm autistic doesn't help in two important respects to my mental wellbeing;

    Firstly,  It doesn't help with the guilt of how my actions and behaviours have catastrophised the lives of others.

    Secondly, It doesn't help you establish how you should move forward from any given point in time.

    I know my life is about the blow up again - no idea which direction I will be propelled or if I will remain in one piece this time.

    Thank you to everyone here - Anon16 and myself are blessed you are here.

Reply
  • I'm finding it really overwelming dealing with and coming to terms with being autistic.

    I haven't known for 50 years what and how I am, but I fabricated myself a life to cope with the realities as I perceived them.

    7 years ago the wheels came off my train.  Everyone bore with me........I rather pissed away 7 years in a self indulgent and mindless search for why the really peculiar aspects of my behaviours and thoughts happened, over, and over again - normally ending in mild financial catastrophe.

    Knowing I'm autistic doesn't help in two important respects to my mental wellbeing;

    Firstly,  It doesn't help with the guilt of how my actions and behaviours have catastrophised the lives of others.

    Secondly, It doesn't help you establish how you should move forward from any given point in time.

    I know my life is about the blow up again - no idea which direction I will be propelled or if I will remain in one piece this time.

    Thank you to everyone here - Anon16 and myself are blessed you are here.

Children
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