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I’m not good at anything, and I don’t feel wanted

NAS82520

 I don’t feel wanted AT ALL. I suck at everything I do, even things people tell me I’m good at. My whole life people said I’ve been smart, and I’m failing algebra and Spanish. And they say it’s because I’m not putting enough effort in, even though I am trying as hard as I physically can. But that’s not what I care most about. What I’m really worried about is my lack of love. Earlier this week, I have autism, and my crush does too. Earlier this week I saw a post of my crush making out with someone else, and I broke down into tears and I haven’t felt happy since. I’ve asked out about 10 people in the past 2 years and all of them have said no but my current crush is the only one I’ve ever actually loved. I don’t know what’s different about them that they can find a partner so easily and I can’t. It just makes me seem like a failure that someone in the same exact situation as me has everything I’ve ever wanted and they got it so easily when I’ve been trying as hard as I possibly could for actual YEARS. I feel so pathetic for having to ask about this on Reddit of all places, and I just don’t know what to do, I’ve never really felt like I’ve been loved at all in my entire life and I’m kind of starting to lose hope on everything. I think MAYBE it’s because of my appearance but I literally do not know where to start on fixing it because I’m so fucking ugly

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  • Sorry to hear you feel like that and I'm glad you posted. That's not pathetic at all. It sucks when that happens. I used to get really big crushes on people, I was often unable ever to do anything about it, when I did it often went wrong. Crushes often feel really intense and can be easily mistaken with love, although I don't think that's what they are. But it feels awful to be going through, and I'm sorry you are going through it.

    You're quite entitled to feel like crap about it. But please don't let it cloud everything. If people have been telling you your whole life that you are smart, you are smart. Struggling in a couple of subjects doesn't change that. And you are probably down on your appearance because of what you are going through.

    I suppose what I am saying is: your feelings are very real and no doubt very painful. But they will pass.

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  • Sorry to hear you feel like that and I'm glad you posted. That's not pathetic at all. It sucks when that happens. I used to get really big crushes on people, I was often unable ever to do anything about it, when I did it often went wrong. Crushes often feel really intense and can be easily mistaken with love, although I don't think that's what they are. But it feels awful to be going through, and I'm sorry you are going through it.

    You're quite entitled to feel like crap about it. But please don't let it cloud everything. If people have been telling you your whole life that you are smart, you are smart. Struggling in a couple of subjects doesn't change that. And you are probably down on your appearance because of what you are going through.

    I suppose what I am saying is: your feelings are very real and no doubt very painful. But they will pass.

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