I'm in my forties and yet still completely fail at managing on my own. I have to constantly call my elderly mother for help. Something goes wrong with the house? Call mum. Need to sort out benefits? Call mum. Talk to any kind of business on the phone? Call mum. I should be able to do these basic things and yet it's like the words to deal with these kind of situations just aren't in my brain. My mother gets really annoyed at me for always needing help, and I can't say that I blame her.
I'm tired of feeling completely incapable of being a grown up. I don't have any friends, and my mum is the only member of the family that talks to me outside of Xmas time. She's in her 70s now and I'm terrified of what the future holds when I'm on my own. Then I feel completely guilty for even thinking about that.
Mental health services were a complete and utter disaster for me. I know there's no help for me down that route. I spent decades trying to find help that didn't just label me as depressed. Every day is painfully lonely, yet I get completely overwhelmed when I try to connect with people.
I'm so tired of being so alone and unwanted by the entire world. I try to disappear into video games. I used to read a lot but my concentration disappeared years ago. Life passed me by, and I have pretty much nothing to show for it.
