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Unable to cope with adult life

Violet

I'm in my forties and yet still completely fail at managing on my own. I have to constantly call my elderly mother for help. Something goes wrong with the house? Call mum. Need to sort out benefits? Call mum. Talk to any kind of business on the phone? Call mum. I should be able to do these basic things and yet it's like the words to deal with these kind of situations just aren't in my brain. My mother gets really annoyed at me for always needing help, and I can't say that I blame her.

I'm tired of feeling completely incapable of being a grown up. I don't have any friends, and my mum is the only member of the family that talks to me outside of Xmas time. She's in her 70s now and I'm terrified of what the future holds when I'm on my own. Then I feel completely guilty for even thinking about that.

Mental health services were a complete and utter disaster for me. I know there's no help for me down that route. I spent decades trying to find help that didn't just label me as depressed. Every day is painfully lonely, yet I get completely overwhelmed when I try to connect with people. 

I'm so tired of being so alone and unwanted by the entire world. I try to disappear into video games. I used to read a lot but my concentration disappeared years ago. Life passed me by, and I have pretty much nothing to show for it. 

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  • Violet I don't know if it's of any comfort but you're an eloquent person and you can write properly!!  A lot of people have lost that skill these days, especially on the internet.

    I don't feel like a grown up either, and I have kids!!!  I rely on my hubby for certain things but he's not exactly grown up.  We just have to muddle through somehow.  I bet you are probably capable of a bit more than you realise - because your mum is the safety net, even thought she grumbles about it.  Somehow I stopped driving a few years ago (when we got a bigger car) but it annoys my hubby when he has to drive me places.  I'm hoping to buy a small car for myself down the track.  So I need to grow up a little too.  

    And so many of us are having trouble connecting - even some of the neurotypicals are.  I'm reading a book called 'Find Your People.'  Will try to remember to tell you if I gain any useful insights.  I'm pretty isolated but I'm trying to reach out to just a few friends and build myself a little community.

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  • Violet I don't know if it's of any comfort but you're an eloquent person and you can write properly!!  A lot of people have lost that skill these days, especially on the internet.

    I don't feel like a grown up either, and I have kids!!!  I rely on my hubby for certain things but he's not exactly grown up.  We just have to muddle through somehow.  I bet you are probably capable of a bit more than you realise - because your mum is the safety net, even thought she grumbles about it.  Somehow I stopped driving a few years ago (when we got a bigger car) but it annoys my hubby when he has to drive me places.  I'm hoping to buy a small car for myself down the track.  So I need to grow up a little too.  

    And so many of us are having trouble connecting - even some of the neurotypicals are.  I'm reading a book called 'Find Your People.'  Will try to remember to tell you if I gain any useful insights.  I'm pretty isolated but I'm trying to reach out to just a few friends and build myself a little community.

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