I'm sick of my life, I've objectively got nothing to live for. No girlfriend (I'm nearly 25 and still a virgin for God's sake), no friends (I used to have quite a few but I guess they didn't want to hang round with a depressed lunatic), no family (at least not a caring one, my "mother" hates me or at the very least couldn't care less about me, it's so obvious that my sister is the favourite that even a blind man could see it), no job, nothing. I've had two of my dogs who I loved very much die and I still struggle with it. I do have one more but my spiteful excuse of a mother will probably stop me from seeing him because we've fallen out. He won't miss me anyway, he doesn't seem bothered when I go home. And of course he won't be around forever and I don't know how I'll cope when it happens. My "mother" thinks that they're toys that can be replaced when others "break", she got him even though I didn't want another one at the time. She and my sister weren't too bothered when they died and now they don't care at all. Anyway, I'm just a worthless burden on society and I hate being mentally ill. Some people say be positive about it but I just can't, I find it disgusting, embarrassing and shameful. I'd do anything to be normal. There's a motorway bridge and a train station nearby, I'm honestly thinking of going to one of them and killing myself tonight. Jumping off a bridge or in front of a train seems like a far better idea than continuing this miserable existence for another 50 or so years. I know some people will say doing it publicly is selfish but I heard that they're instant ways to die and to be honest I feel like this selfish, cruel society should witness it. I've thought about tablets before but from what I've read, they're painful and usually don't work.
