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Exhausted with other people.

NAS82738

Hi everyone. I'm new to this site.  I'm 41 and have just figured out that I am autistic. It's been a life changer for me.  However, it's also really making me question if I want to bother with other people and friendships. I've struggled with keeping friends my whole life. There always seems to be a misunderstanding that happens and things end up blowing up.  I'm just very tired of going through this over and over. 

I have a husband and a couple of friends that I talk to regularly.  I still struggle to trust them. Even people I've known for decades, I still find myself not really trusting them. It's hard for me. I just feel that no matter what I do, people always misunderstand.

I'm really just venting more than anything. Have any of you felt like this?  At 41, it's just hard to try to relearn how to socialize and be "normal."  I just don't have the energy.

Parents

  • Hi, I can relate to a lot of what your saying. I’m 55 and friendships are really hard work, I’ve got one friend and he knows I’m autistic. I think that’s  the key to our friendship, he knows how hard some situations are for me and always gives me space, if I don’t answer a message for a week, it’s not a problem. At the end of your message you say that you want to relearn how to be normal. It has to be your autistic normal, don’t try to be a neurotypical pretending to fit into their world and expectations. Only a real friend is worth the effort and they must accept you for who you are. I fully understand trust is hard, I find one friend and my wife is just about enough, most autistic people aren’t pack animals, we don’t crave being in groups and trying to jump through the social hoops that’s expected in the neurotypical world. If you want to relearn then learn to be who you really are, after years of masking it is hard as you often loose sight of the autistic child you once was and learnt to hide from. It’s your time now!

  • in reply to Roy
    Roy said:
    most autistic people aren’t pack animals, we don’t crave being in groups and trying to jump through the social hoops that’s expected in the neurotypical world.

    ^  This!  ^

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