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Exhausted with other people.

NAS82738

Hi everyone. I'm new to this site.  I'm 41 and have just figured out that I am autistic. It's been a life changer for me.  However, it's also really making me question if I want to bother with other people and friendships. I've struggled with keeping friends my whole life. There always seems to be a misunderstanding that happens and things end up blowing up.  I'm just very tired of going through this over and over. 

I have a husband and a couple of friends that I talk to regularly.  I still struggle to trust them. Even people I've known for decades, I still find myself not really trusting them. It's hard for me. I just feel that no matter what I do, people always misunderstand.

I'm really just venting more than anything. Have any of you felt like this?  At 41, it's just hard to try to relearn how to socialize and be "normal."  I just don't have the energy.

Parents

  • I totally understand where you are coming from.

    I also struggle with socialisation outside of my small family group and a couple of close friends which I see very occasionally. I try to avoid socialising within groups, especially. It's not something new for me, something I've suffered with all of my life. I'm 54 now. I'm waiting for an official assessment & I'm on the waiting list. I also struggle with trust issues, trying to differentiate between humour & sarcasm, sometimes. Taking people too literally at times. Really struggle with people when they say they'll do something, then don't. 

    So socialising outside of my comfort zone is something I find difficult to do or want to do. Work was equally as difficult for me over the years. I'm now a lone worker 95% of the time, this works especially well for me. Well I say lone worker, I support adults with learning difficulties, but I feel no threat from them & feel more at home working within that environment. I had a career change around 20 years ago, due to being made redundant, struggling with social interaction especially within groups & other health issues. I now can't see myself doing any other type of job until I retire. It also helps me focus on something else, rather than my own issues, which helps, too. 

    I now work part time, having worked full time most of my adult life. So I'm now going to try and force myself to take up a hobby, maybe fishing next summer. Just to give myself another focus, as I did some fishing when I was a child, enjoyed it. Just found it relaxing & calming.

    I'm at my most comfortable away from stress, within my little family bubble or at work, extended family, really, well I've worked within the same service for around 10 years now. Then I tend to focus my positive energy towards them. 

Reply

  • I totally understand where you are coming from.

    I also struggle with socialisation outside of my small family group and a couple of close friends which I see very occasionally. I try to avoid socialising within groups, especially. It's not something new for me, something I've suffered with all of my life. I'm 54 now. I'm waiting for an official assessment & I'm on the waiting list. I also struggle with trust issues, trying to differentiate between humour & sarcasm, sometimes. Taking people too literally at times. Really struggle with people when they say they'll do something, then don't. 

    So socialising outside of my comfort zone is something I find difficult to do or want to do. Work was equally as difficult for me over the years. I'm now a lone worker 95% of the time, this works especially well for me. Well I say lone worker, I support adults with learning difficulties, but I feel no threat from them & feel more at home working within that environment. I had a career change around 20 years ago, due to being made redundant, struggling with social interaction especially within groups & other health issues. I now can't see myself doing any other type of job until I retire. It also helps me focus on something else, rather than my own issues, which helps, too. 

    I now work part time, having worked full time most of my adult life. So I'm now going to try and force myself to take up a hobby, maybe fishing next summer. Just to give myself another focus, as I did some fishing when I was a child, enjoyed it. Just found it relaxing & calming.

    I'm at my most comfortable away from stress, within my little family bubble or at work, extended family, really, well I've worked within the same service for around 10 years now. Then I tend to focus my positive energy towards them. 

Children
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