Attachment theory.

My daughter introduced this concept to me today, it looks to be possibly useful to those of us who have difficulty with understanding and maintaining/expanding our human relationships. 

Parents
  • Very familiar with it as I work in a department which deals with children in care. Many of them have attachment disorders due to their early traumas.

    This can affect autistic people too, but also there are some features of autism that can be mistaken for an attachment disorder. As a kid I had zero inclination to spend time with my mother and was mostly not bothered whether she was there or not, and often irritated when she tried to show an interest in my life.  But an 'attachment avoidant' child, who on the surface is indifferent to the patent, would actually be experiencing extreme anxiety without their presence. I experienced no such anxiety. I just genuinely wanted my own space to do my own thing without any human intervention. Different thing.

    There are other autistic people who report huge dependency on one parent. Often it's based on fear of insecurity in an ever changing world without them. Not quite the same thing, either.

    Attachment theory is mega useful, but care should be taken in determining whether attachment problems are there or not in autistic people. Sometimes, our attachments are just, well, normally autistic.

  • I was more wondering if it would be a source of insight as to "how relationships work" for those of us who lack the "built in guide" that most normies seem to be equipped with, more than as a method of identifying and treating specific problems.

    Not that any of that, detracts from your interesting added insights.   

  • Could it be that you overestimate the depth of the relationships between "normies"? Attachement theory is for very intimate relationships while most social hang arounds are rather shallow I find. It has more to do with untertainment than with attachement I'd say. 

  • In our current society this is certainly true.. let's see how long this prevails. However human dignity has no price and that's what poor people are rich of. My model in life are african women ;)

  • The pay is rubbish though! At least in monetary terms...

  • Thank you very much!!! It is very useful to my son and I as well as to other parents I talk to. Standing straight in ones shoes defending own values no matter what, that's my "winner" definition.  

Reply
  • Thank you very much!!! It is very useful to my son and I as well as to other parents I talk to. Standing straight in ones shoes defending own values no matter what, that's my "winner" definition.  

Children
  • In our current society this is certainly true.. let's see how long this prevails. However human dignity has no price and that's what poor people are rich of. My model in life are african women ;)

  • The pay is rubbish though! At least in monetary terms...