Anxiety and building a "model of the world", how much probability do you need to validate a theory?

Observing how my 11 years old half-verbal (he can speak but it is not his natural way of expressing himself) autistic boy develops, I feel most of his anxiety and low self-esteem comes from not being able to predict situations. From very early on I noticed that a single counter example could have him invalidate a belief he had acquired over many instances. As he is growing up and developing secondary emotions this problems seems to come back each time he is building a new vision of the world that comes along with this new emotion (e.g. shame, guilt, confidence, delusion). As if all of sudden many things would again be totally unpredictable for him.

Has anyone experienced something along these lines?  Is it something typical of autistic people?

Parents
  • Hi

    It was for me, including speaking. Until 7y.o. I never used to speak longer than 1 word sentences, Until 15 I rarely did that in public. I have memories I understand what people are saying since 4y.o.

    My inhibition to speak was an outcome of few reasons. My natural way of thinking is in pictures and algorythms, so to speak is to try to speak in a foreign language. I learnt how to think fluently in polish and english in adulthood, but I did not start trying that until adolescent. and second reason was stammering, I was affraid of people joking about it. I still stammer when I try to lie, and never finish the sentence.But when I was 15y.o. Ijoined school theatre and they thought me how to pronunce more difficuklt words, and overcome stammering

    Some concepts are difficult to grasp as there is not enough evidence, and explanations given are lacking or in case of feelings often contradictory

    E.g.

    Until adulthood I believed that Lie is a concept created to be used in movies and such, and that people don't lie on daily basis.

    When I was 10 I found out that my actions can hurt others, to literally cause harm after I punched my 1 year younger sister in her nose and it started to bleed, and at the same time I found out how shame feels, Before that I had no idea what shame really means.

    And unpredictability is still scary

  • Thank you!!! So do you feel more confortable with physics and technology like apps or automated things? Did you find any way to help yourself dealing with unpredictability? Theater is a good tip, thank you! 

    Studying how our brain funccion I understand human beings at large have problems with unpredictability but most people live by illusions (beliefs no counter example can destroy). It seems difficult to find the right balance between oppeness to new ideas and inner safety.

  • Math and everything that comes from it was always my passion. My way of thinking came in handy at uni when we were learning integrals. Others struggled, because it's difficult to present soemthing 3D or 4D on a piece of paper. I understand coding, I learnt C+, and all other languages are the same, I just need to learn syntax, I found out at college when I learnt VBA in 2 week to write macro in Excel I needed. But I say it on interview and they don't believe me. Or I look on a busy street and I know how to cross without rushing in an instant. Because it's more like imagining than thinking. With some effort in 3D.

    Math has no answer to unpredictability yet. My solution is probably not the best, as I tend to procrastinate waiting for more input when I can't make a decission. Or I avoid many things, and that makes me delusional I can avoid them. I often get really anxious when I'm pushed to choose and I can't because I don't know

  • What to expect from a society valuing fame and money (for no achievements) above knowledge and wisdom and in which everyone sticks to small groups of like-minded look-alikes. The fear to fall out of society makes people push others out first. Full of  contradictions indeed.. "Liquid times" from Baumann gives an explanation on why anxiety increased. 

  • I find turn-based strategy games highly entertaining, and they help to develop that kind of anticipation too, how to ''predict'' what can happen if you do something

    Though there isn't any you can play on any of consoles, so don't buy your son xbox, buy him PC Stuck out tongue

  • My view is not optimistic, but a lot cynical, so I understand sarcasm for example, at least most of the time. I make plans and contingency plans, and so on too, and ignore everything else, that's what I meant by saying I avoid many things. Go from A to B and look on a curve only. And formula for a curve is known because it's mine Stuck out tongue

    I looked up Zygmund Baumann, and I agree with him about reasons behind Holocaust, Sounds like logical guy, I'd have liked him if I met him.

    Autistic are the Stranger these days, and media picture us so we're feared more.

  • Inspiring! My personal solution is to have plan A, B, C for important decisions so that I can switch when one doesn't work as expected (I build discrete escape doors with tresholds) and not bother much about non important ones for which I use random (whatever) as I cannot make that many decisions in a day. I gain peace of mind by trusting my hability to adapt to chaos but as all "neurotypicish" I have an over optimistic biais that I see my son does not, he is closer to reality. And when crap comes I remember I am not in control of the chaos of the real world. Zygmund Baumann's philosophy helped me a lot in this.

Reply
  • Inspiring! My personal solution is to have plan A, B, C for important decisions so that I can switch when one doesn't work as expected (I build discrete escape doors with tresholds) and not bother much about non important ones for which I use random (whatever) as I cannot make that many decisions in a day. I gain peace of mind by trusting my hability to adapt to chaos but as all "neurotypicish" I have an over optimistic biais that I see my son does not, he is closer to reality. And when crap comes I remember I am not in control of the chaos of the real world. Zygmund Baumann's philosophy helped me a lot in this.

Children
  • What to expect from a society valuing fame and money (for no achievements) above knowledge and wisdom and in which everyone sticks to small groups of like-minded look-alikes. The fear to fall out of society makes people push others out first. Full of  contradictions indeed.. "Liquid times" from Baumann gives an explanation on why anxiety increased. 

  • I find turn-based strategy games highly entertaining, and they help to develop that kind of anticipation too, how to ''predict'' what can happen if you do something

    Though there isn't any you can play on any of consoles, so don't buy your son xbox, buy him PC Stuck out tongue

  • My view is not optimistic, but a lot cynical, so I understand sarcasm for example, at least most of the time. I make plans and contingency plans, and so on too, and ignore everything else, that's what I meant by saying I avoid many things. Go from A to B and look on a curve only. And formula for a curve is known because it's mine Stuck out tongue

    I looked up Zygmund Baumann, and I agree with him about reasons behind Holocaust, Sounds like logical guy, I'd have liked him if I met him.

    Autistic are the Stranger these days, and media picture us so we're feared more.