Hello,
I'm new to this forum.
I have had anxiety since the start of this year and I have been getting headaches every day, sometimes really bad ones.
I think some of my anxiety comes from this because I remember I had a holiday in 2015 with my grandparents and my step grandad thought I was being selfish so when we returned home from holiday, on Sunday 31 May 2015, I sat where my step grandad wanted to sit and he shouted really loud at me, saying I am a selfish brat. I was frightened and crying because it startled me and I am sensitive to loud noises, and I called for Dad. When my step grandad calmed down, he realized how frightened I was, and we apologized to each other, and we became friends again.
However, I was still too frightened of him and he caused a lot of anxiety for me when he shouted at me, and I didn't ever want to see him again just in case he shouted at me again and I wished for me not to see him again.
That did happen and he passed away on 31 Dec 2015 and I was happy about that. Now, this year, I think it is unforgivable for me now that I made that wish and if I told my family, they would all cry and be upset with me. So, I have been suffering since 2015 with this secret. I have never told anyone this.
Now, I partially regret it now and I feel guilty abut my wrongdoing. I'm now having anxiety every day and I have depression about it too. I am frightened of my family knowing what I've done.
Can you help me please?
Thanks,
